Perhaps the pretending is part of who they are? Just like some children are more imaginative than others, some adults have it ingrained in them to 'put their best face forward' so to speak.
I think it's important to be yourself around your friends and family, but I also think it's important to maintain privacy. So in some ways, some versions of pretending could be to maintain that privacy around strangers.
For example: if I'm having a super bad day because someone peed in my cereal, I got fired from my job for showing up late, and my mom is in the hospital, I'm still likely to pretend that my day is going fine if I have to be in public. I'll do this because my privacy is important to me. I don't need strangers asking questions about my super bad day. I also don't need to burden strangers (or even casual acquaintances or colleagues) with my super bad day so that would be another reason I would be likely to pretend that everything is ok.
With all that being said, I think friends and family deserve a more honest version of reality.
Thanks for writing a thoughtful post. I enjoyed reading it.
Oh goodness no...I don't pretend much, and people usually know if I have a super bad day. I can get quite agitated, but you are very right. Sometimes we do pretend that everything is ok, just so that someone close to us don't have to worry. You can just call me a considerate pretender...lol!
Ha, a considerate pretender. I like that. I remember years ago (when I was in middle school) my mom came up to the school for something. Most likely, one of us kids was in trouble again. In the hallway, a teacher greeted her and asked the standard, "How are you?" My mom responded quite snappily, "Not very good!"
She was so embarrassed by her own response that even years later she still feels bad about it. It's interesting how society has conditioned us to respond in ways that are less than honest. I wonder if it still serves a purpose, or if it's simply an archaic tradition which we should overcome.