But what causes you to fall in love? And does it really matter what plays in the background, or is "instinct" you mentioned in a previous post perhaps a better guide in such things, to prevent a feeling of complete bleakness and emptiness? You get to choose what you accept as motivating causes, and some are more benign than others, even when rational thinking would lead you to other causes.

BTW you are very close here to the theme of Houellebecq's Extention du domaine de la lutte, in which he paints a portrait of a society where emotionless, neo-liberal market thinking has made its way into personal relationships, including romantic ones, not just as a background mechanism, but as a primary determinant of those relationships. You haven't read it, I know, but the direction of thinking is so strikingly similar I thought you would want to know about it. The book hit me like a ton of bricks, and a strong feeling of "do people really think about others like that?" and "don't want to be like that!". It also nearly caused riots in France, so he must have touched a nerve.