God Spoke to Me

These girls are my why. Photo credit: Derek Turner (aka hubby)

“This is too hard.”

This destructive thought has been swirling in my mind the past two weeks. And I’m sad to say I’ve been giving in to it. You can probably imagine how having this negative thought has been detrimental to my day-to-day life.

But let’s rewind a little bit for context.

Derek and I have some epic goals for 2018. Part of those goals include content creation which I LOVE. Whether writing or video production, I love it all. I have so many post ideas fleshed out and ready to post but I’m struggling to find the time. Not new, right?

Now that I am on maternity leave, we are trying to make the most of this time to jumpstart progress towards those goals. But it hasn’t been easy with adding a newborn to our family dynamic and me dealing with postpartum hormones and healing. That’s resulted in inconsistency which drives me crazy! I’m someone who executes on a plan. And I execute with excellence. So not moving at the pace I want has been very frustrating and part of my downward spiral.

After weeks of feeling frustrated and defeated, yesterday I hit a low point. Toddler tantrums at bath time combined with toilet training regression, fighting off mastitis with a fussy infant brought me down. I spent most of the day angry and impatient. Not a good look. My babies are my priority, so I was ready to give up on everything outside of mothering my kiddos because the pressure was too much.

I had to regroup.

I ignored my planner and intentionally took a mental break yesterday. I cuddled my babies, enjoyed some alone time, cleaned house, talked to Derek and laughed. By late evening I was back to myself and ready to tackle life. I acknowledged where I could be more efficient and created a schedule based on that insight. Accomplishing our goals are necessary to move our family to the next level. Derek and I are working hard, together, for our girls. I can never lose sight of the why.

So, when did God speak to me?

This morning. During my morning devotions, the author, John C. Maxwell (author of Developing the Leader Within You 2.0), wrote “Anything you desire in life, everything you would like to strive for, is uphill, meaning the pursuit of it is challenging, grueling, exhausting, strenuous, and difficult…. Any uphill climb must be deliberate, consistent, and willful. It is very intentional.” God did not say life would be easy, but He did (and does) promise to walk alongside us and even carry us when necessary. That was the word I needed to hear today.

The road to starting a business is never easy and paved with setbacks but it’s worth it for us to try as we work towards financial freedom. My posts may still be inconsistent and I'll probably have more frustrating days but I'm going to keep pressing forward.

• Kareen