Punday Monday! Win SBI! Join this easy contest with your original pun on this week's topic! This is the 59th week that we've held the contest! Comedy Open Mic Round #25 entry, too!!!
Welcome to Punday Monday!
If you’re new here, pull up a stool, order a pie-nt, and get to know some of the regulars! I’m your puntender, @improv.
You can jump in any time, and if you aren’t sure how to make a pun, here’s a handy dandy guide:
https://steemit.com/contest/@improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties
If you’re an oldtimer, welcome back! Get to know some of the whippersnappers, here, have a pun-nt on the house (What do you get when you cross an avocado with a doughnut? An avoca do not serve that to me.). You might be interested in the results of our first annual best pun contest:
https://steemit.com/contest/@freewritehouse/punday-monday-year-one-day-awards-ceremony
If you’re an any-timer, old or whipper, make sure you visit @freewritehouse! There you can meet fellow lovers of goofiness and find even more contests every week!
Hang on to your punderwear...
There’s no business like show business, so let’s show you the business we’re dealing with today!
Here’s last week’s post, and all the puns that are eligible to win this week are in the comments!
https://steemit.com/contest/@improv/punday-monday-58-new-players-welcome
Rookie of the Week!
Goes to @sparkesy43! My guess is that you found us via the @steembasicincome contest round-up! That’s thrilling!
Pocket Choice awards
Every Friday, I put up a post to solicit audience favorites! They can vote on their favorites by sending POCKET to whomever they want to win. This week’s post is here: https://steemit.com/pocket/@improv/pocket-friday-pun-post
As you can see, we have a tie this week! I won’t do this every time, but this week, we’ll crown them both POCKET Choice Award winners!
Congrats to @stinawog, @paul.atreides sent you the same amount of POCKET that
Congrats to @chrisroberts, @ecoinstant sent you the same amount of POCKET that
Is 2 (minus the confirm fee, so 1)!
If YOU want to learn about POCKET, so you can participate in voting for your favorites, go ahead and check out this link
https://steemit.com/pocket/@improv/pocket-friday-for-punday-monday-here-s-a-way-to-use-your-pocket-and-get-a-laugh
You can also check out more info by @biophil, the creator of POCKET, and he’ll teach you. Check out his posts!
Regardless,
The folks in the POCKET Choice winner's circle are @miniature-tiger, @lilygolightly, @chrisroberts, @stinawog, @f3nix, @doctorcrypto, @heroic15397, @littlescribe, @diebitch, @acolucky, @ablaze, and @paul.atreides.
and our grand prize...
The prize for best pun
Best pun of the entire week
Winner of our weekly SBI share giveaway
Best Overall Pun
DRUMROLL, PLEASE
.
.
.
@ecoinstant
For the wham bam of sadness and funniness that comes from the civil war puns! Such well designed puns on such a painful topic!
And what prizes do they win, you ask?
Why, as usual, all the punsters got full strength upvotes on their submissions.
Our category winners will each get to choose a post (of their own or someone else's) and I will give that post a fully powered upvote and a @tipu tip!
And the big, exciting prize of 1 SBI will go to @ecoinstant!
This week's pun topic is...
Rapid!
As in,
Why do Muslims win races during Ramadan? Because they FAST!
Perfect,
I'm so good at puns....
If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in My Free How-To Guide on Punning!
I've entered this contest in the @comedyopenmic contest as well! It's turtles all the way down, and a set of all sets contains itself.
I nominate @paul.atreides and @ecoinstant to do @comedyopenmic, too!
And, as long as I have your attention… well, this place is probably already saturated with people who have referral codes for various “free money” things, but here are mine!
Coinbase: Cryptocurrency investment- https://www.coinbase.com/join/5929c0788331aa072d9e347e
Robinhood: investment platform buying/selling stocks- http://share.robinhood.com/brendaw92
Earn.com: small tasks for small rewards (need a business or .edu email) - http://earn.com/improv/referral/?a=qmk07e7tzua677hk
Mannabase: sign up for universal basic income distribution funded by cryptocurrency- https://www.mannabase.com/?ref=3984bea863
Swift: Yet another attempt at a UBI: https://www.swiftdemand.com/?referred_by=lochleinn
Whitewater rafting is a lot of fun but it tends to be over rapidly.
YES, THERE YOU ARE
A guy in a banana hammock was surprised by a fellow who slipped in a speedo.
And then they both flip-flopped over a man running in thongs!
Well the guy in the track suit shouldn't have been clogging the sidewalk.
He was a real sweater, knitted and salty water!
I got here as fast as I could after finding this link. I’m not too quick on my feet when it comes to thinking up puns, but here goes nothing:
When the orchestra conductor left the countryside for the hustle and bustle of the big city, he had to sell all his lawn ornaments. But he made sure he held on to his metro gnome.
Rapid as you were able! Huzzah!
Posted using Partiko Android
Last time I saw Elmer Fudd he was climbing into a rubber raft with his shotgun.
He said he was going to shoot the wapids.
Haaaaaa
Posted using Partiko Android
If you get a b-minus on your bicycle, they take your bike and give you an icicle.
That's a pity. Also, it's related to this week's topic because bicycles move quickly.
Posted using Partiko Android
Thanks I needed that explanation.
me, too.
Have you heard Tech N9ne's latest single where he musically explains certain components of Freud's theories on the human Psychic Apparatus? Not only did it win [insert misc. rapping award] for fastest rapping, but it's got a dope beat. It's called Rap Id.
...crickets...
Holy shit a Tech N9ne reference on steemit. Never thought I would see the day.
Mass adoption here we come! :D
Better have a Caribou Lou in celebration.
My daughters' godfather actually does some of Techs clothing line from what I hear. Skandalous inc here in Kansas City. Luke also does some decals for our race car. He actually made out steemit decals.
skandalous inc across her boobs. :)
Wow! That's way out there, but this was a tough one!
LOL the random words are always a tough pun, but I find that if you make the story long enough, the pun eventually finds itself. :)
Exactly!
Posted using Partiko Android
I love this theory! My mind is weird and when it can't find funs it starts rhyming!
Crickets that are applauding wildly!
No crickets here! You actually elicited an audible chuckle from my time zone with that joke. It had such a profound effect on me, as a matter of fact, that my entire rap superego was rapidly overcome with the super giggles.
P-Diddy was a fine, aspiring young poet but he just could not sing. He signed up for voice lessons, but he was eager to become a star and learning to carry a tune was taking WAY to long. To hasten his rise to fame and fortune. he decided not so sing his lyrics, he just rapid (rapp-ed.)
Badabing, ya' been punned... OK, it is a little lame, I am out of practice... and I was in a hurry!
Hooray, for hurried puns! Sometimes you just gotta get them out there, and you know I love a good shaggy dog story.
Hey nice work! It even made sense (sort of....)!
"Sort of making sense" is above the bar I have set for myself... lol!
haaa
Thats great, I too find that if I keep the bar low I participate more ;p
Yay! Low bars for everyone!
Posted using Partiko Android
Just be careful not to trip!
I bought you a new car for your birthday, but I couldn't find a way to rapid, so I guess I'll just keep the car for myself. Happy birthday anyway.
You can use it to motor on over to our place! That'd be wheel nice.
Posted using Partiko Android
Oh, I was GOING to, but then...I realized it is such a long drive, I'd probably get wheel tired. And that wouldn't be safe. You understand.
They've got these new-fangled things called rest stops. When you get tired, you go to them and then someone takes your car away, saving you from driving while tired.
I tried my hand at a rapid pun, but the day turned dark and my mind went numb.
Is this a pun???? I think it's technically a rhyme, but what the hell do I know?
Let's make it into a pun poem, shall we?
Said the hare to the goose
on the three-legged moose,
"I'm as rabbid as a rhino!"
"You mean hippo," said goose
on the three-legged moose
"you mean 'hungry as a hippo.'"
"No, no," said hare,
Pointing just over there...
"I'm a rabbit. And he is a rhino!"
You're helping!
Posted using Partiko Android
Yay!!! She DOES exist!
...who? asked the owl.
Oh @littlescribe ; iz you pokin fun at'z my pun-less attempt at'a pun...?
Well, to be honest, I felt a really great rhyme scheme coming from "what the hell do I know" and I guess I just couldn't help myself.
You did well...having been 'magically' inspired.
It's not a pun, but It gets an upvote for the attempt anyway! I do hope you have @dustsweeper, though, because my upvote is worth such a small amount it might not pay out right now. I remember the halcyon days of yore, 6 months ago, when my upvote was worth tens of cents!
Yes, I do have dustsweeper, thank you. If you think your VP is bad...look at mine???
I see yours! ;P
Zoom was so quick,
his speed made him sick.
To the doctor he went
and the prescription was sent.
His stomach was green;
his problem: the spleen.
Digestion went through,
epxress to the loo.
To stop bowel blast
the solution was FAST.
But how did he keep from starving?
Intravenous Brisk-et!
Wonderful! You found another pun! You're gonna be talking in puns pretty soon.
Posted using Partiko Android
Finally found a good one! Just noticed the synonym brisk today, was so excited!!! Also, I did notice your nomination, and will get around to that in one of my upcoming daily dlive videos!
Fun with funny!
Posted using Partiko Android
Also, I believe he drank Nestle QUICK!
And hurried cam!
Malapropism, anyone?
Posted using Partiko Android