RE: Response to EcoTrain's QOTW: Why do We Judge Others, and is there any value in it?
I have trouble being compassionate towards myself. Growing up people around me were judgemental. These days, I worry about telling people that I prefer to stay home rather than go to any holiday dos. I want to warn them in advance. This year I want to choose to say "no" instead of my body deciding for me. Adrenal fatigue/burnout is worst at this time of year and it can make me very sick. The thing I need to remember is that I am already very sick. I need to respect my body and myself. But then does that make me selfish? Will others be disappointed? Will they be upset? Will they never want to see me or talk to me again because I can't make an effort to see them at this occasion? But I'm so tired, and I just want to NOT be bedridden.
So based on my needs and my desire to respect myself and my body, I judge myself with all the possible judgements and things others might think, feel or conclude, which may or may not be true.
Is it adrenal fatigue that makes you bedridden? I've suffered adrenal fatigue too, and know how you feel. Given your worry and concern and self judgement, which is similiar to how I feel when I'm feeling really stressed (which increases cortisol, which can lead to adrenal fatigue) I wonder if the two things are related? I presume so, because when we're super anxious, we get stressed and it releases more cortisol, leading to adrenal fatigue. Which leads to more irrational thinking and being overly critical. NOt sure I'm making sense - it's all a related loop, isn't it? And the thing is, you don't KNOW what your friends are thinking, and if you explain howyou are really feeling, they'd probably totaly empathise and understand! That's what I've taken to doing lately: 'I know this might not be how you're thinking, but this is how I'm feeling' - it seems to really help!xx
It's the fight-flight-freeze response that is out of whack due to CPTSD, which is a big contributing factor. My immune system is weakened due to that. If I overdo it and don't respect my body and its limits, then I will get a fever and sick and will be bedridden. Right now, I'm low in energy, but I'm not bedridden. I don't want to be bedridden. I usually push my body past its low limits in order to please others.
Ugh. Sympathies, and wishes for good mental health to help overcome the physical reaction to trauma xxx Much love xxx
Thanks :) Emotionally I'm doing so much better. Physically, not so much. Working on it ;)