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RE: Poetry Please - Forty Percent Off
my goodness I love the phrase where you said 40% off medicine
it is a truly brilliant line when I think about it the more I felt your ambiguously thought out rhythm gave me so much to ponder about our lives as humans
The rhyme is heavenly and the way you expressed so much truth about humanity in just under 2 minutes is something to really think about above all I think I enjoyed your rhyme much more because it was so perfect and well placed well done my friend
Thanks buddy. Yeah, this poem is maybe a little different than a lot of my other poems. But sometimes, I need to express these angers about the cruelty we, as a species, perpetuate in the world, otherwise it festers inside. I feel like it is something great about being a writer (and especially a poet), that we can put these feelings/thoughts into a format that might effect someone to the point that they change their behaviour. I don't know if a poem can really ever change anything, but it's my best way of expressing these frustrations.
I'm glad you enjoyed the rhyming structure and rhythm m8. I read a book about performance poetry and it said to be less focused on rhyming and more on creating a strong rhythmic structure that compliments the underlying feeling behind the poem.
Thanks again for checking out the poem ☺
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You're right, we really don't know if a poem can change the world but sometimes it really goes a long way when the creative tendency of a poet comes to the fore concerning a specific matter that concerns the ills in humanity, this one was brilliantly expressed if you asked me, the mental power to it was topnotch.