Poetry Please - Forty Percent Off
View this post on Hive: Poetry Please - Forty Percent Off
5 years ago in #dtube by raj808 (71)
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my goodness I love the phrase where you said 40% off medicine
it is a truly brilliant line when I think about it the more I felt your ambiguously thought out rhythm gave me so much to ponder about our lives as humans
The rhyme is heavenly and the way you expressed so much truth about humanity in just under 2 minutes is something to really think about above all I think I enjoyed your rhyme much more because it was so perfect and well placed well done my friend
Thanks buddy. Yeah, this poem is maybe a little different than a lot of my other poems. But sometimes, I need to express these angers about the cruelty we, as a species, perpetuate in the world, otherwise it festers inside. I feel like it is something great about being a writer (and especially a poet), that we can put these feelings/thoughts into a format that might effect someone to the point that they change their behaviour. I don't know if a poem can really ever change anything, but it's my best way of expressing these frustrations.
I'm glad you enjoyed the rhyming structure and rhythm m8. I read a book about performance poetry and it said to be less focused on rhyming and more on creating a strong rhythmic structure that compliments the underlying feeling behind the poem.
Thanks again for checking out the poem ☺
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You're right, we really don't know if a poem can change the world but sometimes it really goes a long way when the creative tendency of a poet comes to the fore concerning a specific matter that concerns the ills in humanity, this one was brilliantly expressed if you asked me, the mental power to it was topnotch.
I feel you, brother. What did our existence become in these times.. And look how it's still changing.
You made me think of one of my favorite songs, Wish You Were Here.
P.s. audio content is not my friend due to my listening issues, apologies 🙂 Can you also write them?
Hey brother. I have listened and will make sure that the next poetry please has 'pop-up' text in the video like I did in my first poetry please post.
I love that song also mate. And, in fact, I can play it on guitar... although not very well. I often thought about entering the steem open mic with that tune, but my singing voice lets me down lol
P.s. I messaged you on discord
Gandi said the quote 👍🏽. Like the poem powerful in it meaning and very valid 💯🐒
Life is a journey... If you don't speak your truth... What is the point. Gandhi was very wise... He understood what Rumi said. Learning is important, but wisdom lasts forever.
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Indeed wise words there 💯🐒
Sad but true. So many things in there...
Our priorities are so messed up
Great job on the video :)
Yeah, it is a poem that encapsulates 'sad but true' for sure.
I get pretty fired up about these types of things and especially when I see many many people with alt-right leanings on steem proliferating their twisted agendas. If I meet any of them in person they'd soon see how a 'bleedin heart liberal' can fight lol
I try not to get too heated though. As Ghandi said 'be the change you want to see in the world'... so my way is through my writing.
I actually write a lot of freelance 'paid' articles and creative stuff around these issues outside of Steem but made a conscious decision to keep that seperate from my activities here for lots of reasons.
Thanks for checking out the poem @kaerpediem and the compliment on the video. I hoped it would be emotive and I think I achieved that :)
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