I find it hard to make friends, as I really find it hard to small talk and fill in the gaps of silences

I had this problem some years ago... every conversation was going to fast for me to actually say anything, for my brain to actually develop an idea and connect to other people... what fixed it for me is not giving a fudge... I always say what i want, when i want to whoever i want... This got me happier and i got a lot of friends, most of the time i say stupid shit, but people know how i am, they know i am not serious most of the time!

The part about trusting well...I only trust myself, because mainly i can only depend on my own actions! human are flawed! At least if i try and fail, i can say that it was my own fault for failing!

But even though i only trust in myself, i got a couple of friends that i can almost almost trust completely... It's always good to know someone has my back!