Funny how us mothers are. We spend all that time getting a room prepared for a baby we never really think about getting a cot or twin bed for the room so we can lay comfortably besides during times of illness. I didn't even make to that point, I was just plain scared I moved my bed into his room waking up checking in the bassinet constantly...like you state trauma can be lodged in your subconscious, I'd found myself repeatedly saying please don't take him from me, don't take him from me, I had a ultimate fear of sudden death baby syndrome, it's amazing I made it through all that especially when I ended up going back to work and not being able to sleep well at night.