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RE: Astral Echoes - Short Fantasy Fiction
Interesting that some of the endings had a bit of your idea in them, especially picking up on the theme of the father.
I think trapping Niran in a hellish limbo is promising. I personally would be entertained by an exploration of this "timeless place between realities". You could do this symbolically or as a kind of magical journey. The best is to leave it up to the reader how much is Niran's perception and how much is an actual journey onto another plane. Anyway, that's what I think.
Very textured, very well thought out. Bravo.
I completely agree @agmoore thank you for the feedback. I had it in the back of my mind for the beginning to the next story being a sort of mishmash of symbolic imagery from Niran's past to fill out his character a little, kind of like Mr Xioin is fucking with him psychically before moving on to the next scene (I don't want to post any spoilers).
Have you ever thought of going into the book market? I know it's hard to make money, but you never know. You have a knack for being both thoughtful and popular. Most people have to abandon one for the other.