Okay time out, let's immediately look at the post's introduction/preface. Girl, don't try to belittle or actually say if yah screwed up or not; like spoiling things without even spoiling it! That's of course a sin of its own which definitely is helped in no way to how book covers contain book summaries on the back. So I shall forgive this intro that talks about the prompt, but don't go spoil that yah screwed up. At least try to be tipsy/fancy about and say "the romance may be a bit off, but I never understood the craze romance stories get." Now let's get to the short story/fiction!~ (Also, one more thing: very romantic picture; especially with those cherries. WHY DO PEOPLE INFANTALIZE THE CHERRIES! Yeah we get it that it makes me supposedly more googly-eyed, but c'mon!)

La forma (The form): Now the paragraph spacing (and pacing) seems to be at the very most consistent. At least each paragraph picking off from and ending on a noteworthy piece of action that distincts it from the last scene of little actions inside of the paragraph. I noticed that running off the bat that this post gives no shit to "show-n-don't-tell rulism" and I gotta say: hell yeah, finally another person that doesn't think telling is Satan's armpit. To be more insincere: I actually did like the "showing" aspects of the writing and when it did go to the "telling" parts. I also liked how we're given what I would call a "first person that's forcefully third-person but you wouldn't recognize it until you keep seeing internal monologing mixed in with the scenery long enough." Especially with, what usually is paired up with white romance stories, the female actually not going in being presented as some "sex craver or baby-desirer" or something to that effect. If there's one last thing (that me, myself and I and only possibly me, myself and I tend to twitch sporadically about) I do have to comment on the form of the post, it boils down to my dislike of quotes / speech / talking bits with narration bits on the same sentence. I was never a fan of that, though I do accept it as a legitimate writing style for talking/dialogue bits.

The content: the part we've all been waiting for! Yeah this seems stock-standard for a romance story; albeit everytime I swear I kept seeing he and the descriptions, felt like it easily could've been replaced with a she or they (wouldn't mind a lesbian or trans-lesbian story here). But maybe that is the magic of romance stories that they can easily be swapped out in the snap of a finger (bearing some minor form changes) and still make sense in the logic of the story. I especially blushed with how cute the couple (is it right to say it now and instead of mutuals?) talked and acted, Albeit, I would've loved her, the protagonist, to be still pushy against actually being committed to Matty (such a cute name c:), at least the story nor the male-partner don't seem to force her to actually love Matty but coming to her own terms. Much like the little blushes of life after realizing what your unconsciousness is and just not believing it before you accept and move on with your unconsciousness says so... Still wanted her to be a bit doubting and wondering if Matty was being sincere :p - Then again, I would like more (despite the short fiction title) to see her start consciously linking up with her unconsciousness and "remembering" the times she acted way against what she consciously felt for Matty. Albeit the one thing that would ultimately tear down this portion of the comment is that the prompt forces the story to this bottleneck, so that must've taken extreme justification on your end to make that work...