This opens so strongly with the action! Arrows flying, trees crumbling, Nox dodging, it's a really good scene. I am really torn about the use of links to images to demonstrate things in your stories, cos it does help me picture things, but then, it takes me out of the immersion of the story.
I love how you build Sedra's character, you give her a depth, plant seeds of potential
her ancestor hung in the picture frames
It is a delightful feign.
This feels like a story of two halves with a hinge in the middle to connect them, and it does work, but I wonder if the hinge is necessary, or if you could cut forwards in time, but then that hinge is full of feign bits that add to the surprise of the ending.
With his back turned, Blayne said, "The town changes, but, the well, it will always remain. So nice of you to join me."
You really have painted a depth here, with the mention of ancestors, then this, it makes them feel like those who live longer than humanity.... maybe even sickness/aging immortals.
I love your ending so much, the shock and emotion of Nox dying, so quickly followed by Sedra, and how you describe it, it's not over dramatic, and it's measured enough to hit with full impact. It feels like either a fantastic action filled short, (and it very much played out in my mind movie style for me) or the introduction of Blayne ready for a novel!
I love the beginning. So much fun.
Again, I really struggled with keeping this short. I wanted to get in some magic and stuff. I really think I could have gone up to two-thousand words (LOL). The language use of the first half was tough for me to wrap my head around, I loved it though.
I agree about the cut. Again, confused and frustrated I was on how to continue and end the story. 8-)
I love how you, @calluna, tend to make connections that I am vaguely aware of at times. It helps me see better so thank you.
I like your thoughts on my ending. Yes, the beginning of Blayne's tale begins with the death of the one who was in charge of protecting the catacombs. Perfect.