Well, there's a lot to be said about Metallica and music business in general, but I won't get into it, as I think you're making a whole different point here.
What you said about FOMO and herd mentality is extremely worrying, and I never really got to look at it that way. But you're right, and I guess that if you can apply that to the simple action of buying a concert ticket, you can apply the same to a lot of bigger things. Our lifestyle, our beliefs.
But then, as you mentioned, there's the kind of FOMO you get from looking at your past and wondering if you've made the right choices. Who would I be and all that stuff. Now that's a FOMO I'm way more familiar with, the herd's got nothing on me :D
I like the band, just I think that's an asshole move.
But is that really FOMO? In your past, you've already missed out. There are no right choices, there's just doing what you considered right at the time. If it turned out to be less than good in hindsight, it ain't the same thing.
Who would I be...
Thing is, in our fantasy, we're always better people. Who would I be if I'd done this and that.. and we always look only at the positive side, don't we? We always tend to see our past alternatives in a rosy-tint. But the truth is, it wouldn't have been like that at all. There's no way to know how it would've turned out if you'd done things differently, but it very probably wouldn't have been as nice as you imagine it. Each path you take comes with its own set of problems.
In my experience, you're not actually wishing you could have the same choice again. More often than not, we're longing for different circumstances altogether. And it's useful to take an honest look at the fantasy worlds in our head and weigh how accurate they really are.
And anyway, there's no point thinking what might've been, life's too short. It wasn't and that should be that. Try and focus on what could still be :)
Woah, you got dangerously close to reading my mind back there for a minute.
You know, I've given myself all of these answers as well. But knowing it and doing it are two different things. I'm not saying I'm a slave of my past, but old habits die hard, and sometimes you just realize that some of your choices were made blindly, or not knowing or understanding your own motives. Basically, that self-honestly you're always preaching about bite you in the ass.
And yeah, of course, in hindsight everything's easier. Of course everything we've done is somehow justified by our circumstances. Believe me, I keep telling myself the same thing. Doesn't mean we can't strive to be better though. To do better. Sometimes a bit of guilt helps with that. Taking responsibility, you know? Sometimes it doesn't I guess. But you're right, guilt and FOMO are probably two very different consequences of the same actions, and maybe the latter is as useless as they come.
What you said about longing for different circumstances, though, that's powerful. And very very true. I never really looked at it from that point of view. Guess I'll have something else to distract me from working now, won't I.
You're not gonna make me pay for therapy now, right?
Damn, I've been trying to answer this comment for hours :))) For some reason, Partiko's giving me shit and I managed to erase the entire comment before I could post it off my phone browser. Anyway.
I'm just bouncing some ideas here, glad some of it was true/helpful ;)
I agree looking back is good and important, that understanding why you behaved a certain way in the past can help you learn about yourself and maybe avoid similar choices in future.
But the thing is that if you're moderately honest with yourself (and I get the impression you are), at some point you understand why you did what you did and I think that's the point when the subject's over, you know?
Whenever I find myself revisiting old decisions that I've already elucidated, I try to reel myself away. Because the possibilities of what might have been had I done different are endless.
Hmm no, I won't make you pay :P I actually really like doing this, so :D
I'm not a big fan of smartphones TBH. My fingers won't get used to writing on those things. I know the pain :D
Self-honesty is, like, everything to me. And yet sometime I manage to keep myself in the dark of my own intentions. It's funny like that! What you said was entirely reasonable and very logical.
Anyway I'm glad you're having fun. But know I'm used to be on the other side of this :D
Ha I don't like writing on my phone either. Usually do it only when inspiration strikes and there's no computer in sight :))
I get that. Sometimes it helps for the listener to be listened to, you know? Too often, we become so rooted in the role of listener that we neglect our own need to talk things out. :)
So true. One might get the idea that there is such thing as being emotionally self-sufficient. And then find out that everyone can do that, as long as they keep certain doors closed.
Problem is, those doors have a way of coming open at some point, so you know, you gotta find a way to make a peace with the nasty parts of you, the ones you'd rather you didn't know.
Because if you lock them away, when they come flooding out (which they will), they won't stop to ask how you feel about it..
Hmm yes and no. I'm guessing going in this direction would get extremely personal here :) Let's just say, I wasn't necessarily talking about nasty parts... self-honesty also means you've made your peace with those. I think I have, at least. I've got a whole philosophy going about self-judgement which I'd be glad to run by you at some point. I'm sure you'd love that.
I was referring more to our vulnerable parts. You close those down, you are basically self-sufficient. And you don't feel much at all. So you might get to be a good listener because you remember what it means to feel, but you're not going to be a good listened because you're keeping your own things closed behind doors.
Whaddayaknow? It got kinda personal.