FOMO IRL
I know, I'm pretty proud of the title, too.
In just four short days, one of the biggest concerts of the year will take place somewhere in this city - Metallica. Big, big name, and from what I've heard, good show.
I'm not going, though, as the tickets sold out extremely fast to extortionist resellers, who are selling for about three times the price. And they weren't cheap to begin with.
Anyway, I'm alright with not going. They supplemented at some point, as I knew they would, and I could've bought then, but now, I'm just...meh. I could've bought them, but I have a thing about bands, especially big bands, like the ones in question, who don't do anything about sites like viagogo who take advantage of their fans. They could really put their foot down and they don't and I think that's really shitty of them, so...
Anyway, the FOMO's not mine. I'm good. But there are a lot of people on local FB groups asking around - anyone got an extra ticket? Anyone selling tickets to Metallica?
It's not the first one, last week we had a big metal fest and there were people asking around for tickets during the event. It wasn't even as if that sold out unfairly, like this one did. And I didn't understand, but now I realize, it's that fear of missing out. The realization that on Thursday evening, some people will be singing along to Enter Sandman and you'll be home in front of the telly.
Doesn't matter if you had perfectly good reasons not to buy to begin with, you still get FOMO.
But alas, that's life and you have to live with the consequences of your choices. It's a given you'll miss out on something and there's no point thinking what you could've done different. Yet, many of us are stuck within this mentality - who could we be if we'd done things different?
Maybe you could ave fun on Thursday night, maybe you would've gotten sick from the heat and left the concert early. Fuck knows.
FOMO is stupid and you need to get out of that mindset. It's harmful, it relies largely on herd mentality and it pushes you to make stupid choices.
You will MO on something, regardless how much you try not to. Everyone does.
Maybe instead of giving into this last minute FOMO, these people should be asking themselves why they didn't buy a ticket three months ago and if they really wanted to go that much in the first place.
Same with everything, I suppose. You get trapped in this illusion you're missing out on something that others say is good for you. You don't stop to think if, without the influence of FOMO, you'd actually do it. If it's something you actually give a shit about in the first place.
Don't follow the herd. It don't know where it's going ;)
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The price of concert tickets is out of control here in the States and the extortionists that you describe add significantly to those inflated prices. I've seen mediocre tickets for legends (like the Stones) go for $300+. It's such a racket but FOMO is strong and the prices just keep going higher.
I saw Metallica in Cleveland in the early 1990's (Black album tour) and it was an amazing show. A couple of them had the flu but a doctor back stage gave them a shot (of what I don't know) and they killed it.
Yes, they're insane here, too :/ There was this one lady trying to sell two tix cause she could no longer make it and the price was pretty huge, and people actually accused her of being the extortionist when it said clearly on the ticket that that's how much she herself had paid. It's crazy, as these huge bands don't really need that much money.
Seems to me bands should always try to stay affordable for their fans, you know?
But it seems the bigger they get, the more they want. We have local bands who have prices like $10 (maybe less) per ticket and they seem to be doing pretty alright.
Really? That is so awesome (and that is such a good album <3). Yeah, I've heard they're (or were) a great show - I think that's what's driving all the present FOMO.
Yeah, the big bands have either gotten super greedy or they have to pay so many other entities that things have spiraled out of control. I just read that Stones tickets are going for as much as $1,600 apiece.
I honestly can't name one band that I would pay that much to see.
A friend of mine and I drove up to Cleveland in '91 (I think) to see Metallica. Lars' drum kit was in a cage that rotated and was suspended in the air. Pretty wild night.
Me neither :)) I would've said Motorhead, would've gladly given a kidney for that, but that's just the thing. They had a rule about staying affordable for their fans, even though they were who they were. So I don't really think a ticket would ever cost that much, if they could help it.
Yeah, they do have to pay others, I suppose, that's a good point. Yet, some big bands are affordable while others are just absurdly overpriced. Makes you wonder..
That is such a cool story :O Sounds like one of those once in a lifetime things, I love it.
Well, there's a lot to be said about Metallica and music business in general, but I won't get into it, as I think you're making a whole different point here.
What you said about FOMO and herd mentality is extremely worrying, and I never really got to look at it that way. But you're right, and I guess that if you can apply that to the simple action of buying a concert ticket, you can apply the same to a lot of bigger things. Our lifestyle, our beliefs.
But then, as you mentioned, there's the kind of FOMO you get from looking at your past and wondering if you've made the right choices. Who would I be and all that stuff. Now that's a FOMO I'm way more familiar with, the herd's got nothing on me :D
I like the band, just I think that's an asshole move.
But is that really FOMO? In your past, you've already missed out. There are no right choices, there's just doing what you considered right at the time. If it turned out to be less than good in hindsight, it ain't the same thing.
Who would I be...
Thing is, in our fantasy, we're always better people. Who would I be if I'd done this and that.. and we always look only at the positive side, don't we? We always tend to see our past alternatives in a rosy-tint. But the truth is, it wouldn't have been like that at all. There's no way to know how it would've turned out if you'd done things differently, but it very probably wouldn't have been as nice as you imagine it. Each path you take comes with its own set of problems.
In my experience, you're not actually wishing you could have the same choice again. More often than not, we're longing for different circumstances altogether. And it's useful to take an honest look at the fantasy worlds in our head and weigh how accurate they really are.
And anyway, there's no point thinking what might've been, life's too short. It wasn't and that should be that. Try and focus on what could still be :)
Woah, you got dangerously close to reading my mind back there for a minute.
You know, I've given myself all of these answers as well. But knowing it and doing it are two different things. I'm not saying I'm a slave of my past, but old habits die hard, and sometimes you just realize that some of your choices were made blindly, or not knowing or understanding your own motives. Basically, that self-honestly you're always preaching about bite you in the ass.
And yeah, of course, in hindsight everything's easier. Of course everything we've done is somehow justified by our circumstances. Believe me, I keep telling myself the same thing. Doesn't mean we can't strive to be better though. To do better. Sometimes a bit of guilt helps with that. Taking responsibility, you know? Sometimes it doesn't I guess. But you're right, guilt and FOMO are probably two very different consequences of the same actions, and maybe the latter is as useless as they come.
What you said about longing for different circumstances, though, that's powerful. And very very true. I never really looked at it from that point of view. Guess I'll have something else to distract me from working now, won't I.
You're not gonna make me pay for therapy now, right?
Damn, I've been trying to answer this comment for hours :))) For some reason, Partiko's giving me shit and I managed to erase the entire comment before I could post it off my phone browser. Anyway.
I'm just bouncing some ideas here, glad some of it was true/helpful ;)
I agree looking back is good and important, that understanding why you behaved a certain way in the past can help you learn about yourself and maybe avoid similar choices in future.
But the thing is that if you're moderately honest with yourself (and I get the impression you are), at some point you understand why you did what you did and I think that's the point when the subject's over, you know?
Whenever I find myself revisiting old decisions that I've already elucidated, I try to reel myself away. Because the possibilities of what might have been had I done different are endless.
Hmm no, I won't make you pay :P I actually really like doing this, so :D
I'm not a big fan of smartphones TBH. My fingers won't get used to writing on those things. I know the pain :D
Self-honesty is, like, everything to me. And yet sometime I manage to keep myself in the dark of my own intentions. It's funny like that! What you said was entirely reasonable and very logical.
Anyway I'm glad you're having fun. But know I'm used to be on the other side of this :D
Ha I don't like writing on my phone either. Usually do it only when inspiration strikes and there's no computer in sight :))
I get that. Sometimes it helps for the listener to be listened to, you know? Too often, we become so rooted in the role of listener that we neglect our own need to talk things out. :)
So true. One might get the idea that there is such thing as being emotionally self-sufficient. And then find out that everyone can do that, as long as they keep certain doors closed.
Problem is, those doors have a way of coming open at some point, so you know, you gotta find a way to make a peace with the nasty parts of you, the ones you'd rather you didn't know.
Because if you lock them away, when they come flooding out (which they will), they won't stop to ask how you feel about it..