I have to ride myself enough before the fear takes me at its leisure.

am sick and tired like you of getting somewhere and only being tossed back. I believe we are on this planet to learn lessons.

This is my point. Why learn small lessons when we can learn large? Sure, it could end in disaster but living under a bridge having learned and experienced a lot or constantly living to survive debt is pretty much the same except, the one under the bridge can walk away.