You are viewing a single comment's thread from:
RE: Bananafish Feature: Expurgation Edition
I am left with several questions and I roamed from one side to the other of your second half like a fool, reading, and re-reading. Where is Kayla? Who's the deputy and where was he/she in the first part of the story? Where is the truck? Who is Worcester and the Ma'am coordinating the operations? But, more than everything, why all in a sudden we're in a warfare hectic scenario and, last but not least, what is happening?
You know me, I'm just asking with sincerity. Maybe I'm dumb. Reading Calluna's comment made me feel even dumber but I have to write, for intellectual honesty, that I understood almost nothing.
Does the term "jump-cut" ring a bell in your mind? Also, wasn't it not that they were travelling in a truck? Nonetheless, does the term "lassie" ring any bells here as well. I mean, the only other female in the story is Ma'am, but the one driving was Kayla and the one Sheriff Worcester is concerned of a certain lassie who's driving a truck. I mean, I assume it was Kayla driving and not Manny nor Thomas. Even in spite of that, have you ever heard of a thing called "car chases" - I dunno if they exist in the astral plains of the Banana galaxy, but here in the material world of Dr. @theironfelix, this is a common sight in the USA. Where cops plan out way ahead of time traps and ambushes to catch one person, maybe more if lucky. Also, I don't know if your security force does it but, in my material World, it's a universal rule to conduct an investigative perimeter check. Because suspects may just be hiding and the police wants to ensure that isn't the case. I dunno, maybe I've been too caught up with real-life that I walk out as a more horrific beast for being in the vicinity of the Réal. Maybe I've just seen way too many people die in my life to police chases that I simply wanted a story where the police screwed up and they "suspects" got away. I mean, stop taking it beyond the World of the story and just read it as it is; the ending being a shift in the perspective in that of the Police's eyes. Where, upon that, they want to capture someone; however, they fuck up this capture and this event was the tipping point that they can't commit to catching some rouge band of people. Of course, if this was a movie/animation this would make sense; it always would make sense if it was a movie!
This irony was a bit insulting tho. No problem..
You know what, I like to propose a deal: if the story was so fundamentally fucked up, then say so and give me one shot to redeem myself here. I shall make a new ending and you'll have to judge the new ending without one concern with the old one. I won't take long, I will take as long as I did with this one and get it done before the end of night. Just simply say yes or no, nothing else.
FUCK THIS WAITING, I'M CHANGING THE ENTIRE FUCKING ENDING RIGHT NOW! I DON'T CARE IF THIS DISQUALIFIES ME OR PUTS ME INTO LAST PLACE! I'M TOO EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE AND MENTALLY SANE TO KEEP MY HEAD STRAIGHT AND AWAIT A RESPONSE! WANT TO WRITE ME OF, GO FUCKING AHEAD! I'VE BEEN HAVING A SHIT TIME FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS, EACH DAY GETTING PROGRESSIVELY WORSE AND WORSE! I'M MAKING SURE THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD KNOWS THAT I, VICTOR, AM FUCKING DONE!
Oh damn. I didn't mean to create this mess sorry. I went to sleep and so I can answer only now. I gave you my sincerity, knowing that probably I was going to receive a nuclear shockwave back. I did it the same because I consider you a friend and, to my friends, I reserve my genuine thoughts. Mine is the pov of a reader that truly wants to understand. I did it as a constructive critic: theoretically, those that make us grow. Once, @dirge in one of his writing asked explicitly: be merciless with me in your comments. That was because he knew that only real opinions can create real feedbacks and make us progress. So yes, I'm running the risk of saying what I think with a clear mind and heart and no hidden thoughts. This is how I like the bananafish. Having said this, I'm so sorry again I wasn't aware of a delicate moment for you (also if I always update myself with your side comments in italics). If I had known I would have avoided..
I guess that’s the shame of the Internet, no one can really know until the obscenity comes about. Nie, I was just pushed over the precipice and I couldn’t hide it anymore.
Mine was a constructive and honest critic. I will repeat it if necessary or maybe there will be praise. I recall so many times where I complimented with you, don't you? So now you know that those compliments were real and not just written to please you. Talking about a story in a critical way, from my side has never meant to be and should never be seen as a personal attack. We're all here to improve. My point is that I want to thank you. This episode between us inspired me for the future about being even more straightforward and critic, instead of superseding with a general kind (but meaningless) comment. At the same time, be reassured that everything I write is written with respect and care for my beloved friends, everyone with their styles and unicity.
Sorry for going postal, I wasn’t lying that I basically went over the edge. I was already flustered with the passions which I couldn’t stir, and I have to still deal with a lot of bs that culminated of which I still have to resolve. This absolutely nothing to do with you nor do I blame you as I stated in the end blurb. So drop the officialness and speak as the Diety as thou art, O Bananafish.
I could care less if thou were professional, I rather care for a sincerity that knows how to be tact while still being critical. After all, people unfortunately live an emotional life and rationality is interdependent with emotions. So please, it angers me more that people retract their statements as I have said a many a times to you. But I cannot take offense to your heartfelt comment here. I just cannot.
(And I haven’t forgotten those comments of praise nor why you made those comments, let me be clear on that. As I must repitituously state, I didn’t take your comment as a personal attack; but it had triggered me nonetheless. And due to such a horrid collection of conscious-unconscious memories and the fact I had to hear one a few days ago to then seeing that comment tipped me over. And the unfortunate lesson that has to be repeated on the Internet is that we can never be too safe, only prepared to clean up post hoc. If I must repeat myself an umpteenth time: I am blaming no one, not even myself. The only thing I apologize is that my cathartic event spilled over to some FTS entries and the Bananafish Discord.)
When the light is running low and the shadows start to grow, and the places that you know seem like fantasy. There's a light inside your soul, that's still shining in the cold, with the truth - the promise in our hearts... Don't forget, I'm with you in the dark.