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RE: Mizu No Oto - Every Image Has Its Haiku Contest - WEEK #2

in #haikucontest6 years ago

In silver string bound
A golden pinion was caught
Poor, hungry hunter


Commentary:
Rushing to the joke,
A fool forfeits direction
Mind thaws with good cheer

Now I know I'm doing 0 to 3 on style here, but I really wanted to shine 'em off before bed -- gives a bit of a boost to the humours, so to say :)
I'll be sure to vote for the more serious entrants tomorrow and make an effort to actually learn something!

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Your finishing line had me grinning. Poor hunter indeed!

Also, I need to slow down a bit when reading. I thought your final commentary line was
"Mind thaws with good beer" and had a bit of a giggle fit. 😁 Thanks for the cheer!

Very good! I like your use of silver/gold counterposition

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