"Maybe it’s selfish"

Not at all. You just need to recharge. Massage is your version of meditation, and it's probably even more de-stressing, as it involves human contact.

Usually my way of de-stressing is just to kid around, make funny, be playful, tell jokes, even bad ones, as quick as I can.

I love the Eric Idle Monty Python song lyric "Always look on the bright side of death." It makes no sense of course, but it puts life into perspective, that even the very worst thing can provide a laugh or two. :)