Dating A Farmer 101

in #homesteading6 years ago (edited)

First off, I’m no expert, I just want to make sure I do this right! The farmer and I have been together for just over 4 months and now it’s planting season... ummmmm LATE planting season at that!! Nerves are crazy, stressed, tired, hungry... I could go on and on.

One thing is for sure, communication is just not much at all... everything changes, no “good morning” because he’s waking up earlier than normal and usually something is getting fixed (already). Usually a “good night, I’m still out in the field” around the usual bedtime, in which you feel guilty because YOU ARE going to bed and he is nowhere close! Maybe at some point in the late afternoon he may carry on a conversation.

I started writing this post on May 8th. In fact, I actually forgot about the beginning of the above post until I went to write this one and coincidentally, they are on the same subject. Why didn’t I finish that post and publish it you may ask??? The farmer and I actually broke up that evening. Well, maybe didn’t “break up”, he said he needed time and space.

That time and space last until 2 weeks ago - a total of 6 solid weeks. To him, time and space meant he broke up with me but I didn’t know that until 3 weeks ago when he pretty much made it clear to me, but yet a week later something happened and he showed how much he truly missed me and wanted me back in his life. Life is stressful, trust me I know. But I didn’t quite understand how a man’s brain works until I saw this meme a few days ago - I needed this visual. I truly did.
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During the 6 weeks I stayed true to our relationship AND to his request! The second was really hard to do! I wanted to be there for him, I wanted to know if I did ANYTHING wrong, and how could something so perfect go so sour. There was an additional piece that played a huge part that isn’t my business to share and I won’t. But let me tell you that a postponed planting season caused a lot of headaches & heartache!

What did I do during those 6 weeks?!? I prayed & prayed & prayed every single night. I truly did. Every night this was my prayer, “Dear Lord, please comfort [his] heart and help him through this, remind him I am here for him and share with him I love him. Amen.” See, we actually hadn’t said those three words to each other - at all. We beated around the bush but we just weren’t there.

I followed a few farmers’ wives blogs, watch religiously a dating blog from the male perspective on Youtube, watched farming videos on YouTube of what my farmer was up to so I could sort of learn since I wasn’t sitting by his side, had two friends’ shoulders to lean on (a male and a female)... I hope I got their permission as often as possible before I slimed them both. (<- a compassion fatigued term).

I also did something I thought was the biggest no no and treaded lightly here... my farmer told me from the get-go to make good with his best friend’s wife. Obviously I did and we actually became good friends. She and I had stuff planned ourselves! I didn’t want to cancel them but I also wanted to respect the “time & space” request and she needed to know what was happening. So I told her. I also told her I knew first and foremost she and her husband were his friends and I respected if we needed to take our own break. However, she valued our new friendship just as much as I did, so we kept our dates! This also provided me an inside scoop on so many levels. This made my prayers stronger. So much stronger.

2 weeks ago he contacted me late at night, needing my ear that I had always lent him. (Remember my prayer. ❤️) That conversation was via text and lasted an hour. I also took that opportunity to tell him I loved him for the very first time! I told him I had been holding that in for a very very long time and I needed to let him know how I felt. His response, “Oh, I know! And I hope you’ve known it too!” (Again, remember my prayer. ❤️)

This weekend he invited me over for the first time in two months. I’ve missed him, the farm, Poot, and everything that is him and makes him, him!

What I also found out this weekend is that during the last 3 weeks of his “time & space”, he had received serious talks by his best friend, his best friend’s wife, AND some of the other guys! I guess, I made an impression. ❤️

Speaking of Poot! He says, “hi”! My farmer told me to take the 4-wheeler (after he showed me how to start it and drive it) out to check on the sweet corn. Poot has to come along too and wanted to be in the picture! Hey, did Poot miss me?!? He wouldn’t let me in the house for 15 minutes after I arrived, he needed all the lovin made up that he’s been missing for the last sevvvvvveral weeks!
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I was going to take some pictures of our garden but it ended up down pouring, so that post will be coming in the future!

The takeaway: say your prayers, they really are heard🙏🏻; and give a man his space - they truly only can focus on one thing at a time! ❤️

Blessings,

💕CountryHeart aka Sandy

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Dating a farmer is probably not too different than dating a..... non farmer i guess. Understanding would be my best advice. Which is something you did by watching farmer videos and trying to learn what he did day in and day out during this busy and stressful time in his life

Make sure he also understands what you went through waiting for him. We can all tend to be very self centered and taking a moment to think about others and their feelings puts our "problems" into perspective.

Men are not the best communicators but some women are not either. I am happy you two have come back into each others lives and hopefully next planting season is not so difficult.

Thank you to all of our farmers for the hard work they do that mostly goes unnoticed!

Thanks for commenting. I am gradually sharing with him what that was like. I learnt a lot about myself and my value in this relationship by just how I reacted during those weeks and responded when he wanted my ear. I could have very well just laid it on him and let him have it but the only thing that was running through my mind that week prior to him messaging me was 1 Corinthians 13. My faith has also become stronger in this relationship I’ve noticed. I do attend church regularly as does he and my faith has always been a huge part of who I am, but I’ve just not ever relied so much on the Word as I have these 6 months.

Every night this was my prayer, “Dear Lord, please comfort heart and help him through this, remind him I am here for him and share with him I love him

but you can't bully him into meeting it.

Not sure how you thought I bullied him. We literally did not speak for 6 weeks.

But let me tell you that a postponed planting season caused a lot of headaches & heartache! What did I do during those 6 weeks?!? I prayed & prayed & prayed every single night

"a virtual data-base is a segment of your imagination." eugene o'neull on data-bases:

! During the 6 weeks I stayed true to our relationship AND to his request! The second was really hard to do! I wanted to be there for him, I wanted to know if I did ANYTHING wrong, and how could something so perfect go so sour

(we were so far behind schedule that the customer was happy to get

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