Sunday Musings on "Charting Your Own Course"

It has been a strange week; starting with an unusually significant winter storm here in Western Washington... significant in the sense that I spent several hours shoveling snow out of our driveway, yesterday.

My neighbor a couple of houses down was doing the same — Ed is originally from New York state — and we reflected on the fact that (a) neither of us have had to shovel snow since our teens, and (b) back then we thought getting 50 cents for clearing a driveway was a pretty awesome wage.

Which path will you choose?

"Choosing Our Own Path"

The other thing that was "strange" about this week was that I haven't "gone to work" in three days. Which hasn't happened in several years.

Let me clarify, for a moment. As regulars to these pages might remember, Mrs. Denmarkguy and I have a small gallery/gift shop in our town... and we've been shut down for three days, due to inclement weather.

Although snow is not that unusual here, the fact that we got about nine inches (23cm) in a couple of days, and it fell on a base of ICE when a rainy day above freezing suddenly turned to a strong freeze and snow on Friday, the result is that many roads are not passable (due to curvy hills) even with chains.

The county simply doesn't have the "industrial grade" snow clearing gear to handle this stuff, and we live in an "outlying area" so we were far down the list for plowing and de-icing.

But I digress.

The point here is that "working at home" for three days in a row reminded me why I chose to "chart my own path" rather than "follow the sheep" everywhere.

Safety... and Independence

I think — as human beings — we have an inclination to want to find or create our own sense of meaning in our lives. Why am I here? What is my purpose? How do I make a difference?

These are all good questions... and they seem like things we should simply be able to DO, but then we encounter the "structure" of society.

In most relatively "free" countries, there's generally nothing to prevent us from charting our own course through life... but what we often discover is that there is a "price" for doing so.

Based on the many people I have talked to, over the years, being truly independent is seen as both quite desirable and at the same time quite risky.

To quote the poet Robert Frost:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Of course, it's not always as simple as that. We often have to give up safety in order to have independence.

And so, many end up not taking "the one less traveled by" which leads to autonomy, freedom and independence because there can be a definite "opportunity cost" there — real or perceived — that blocks the way.

Choices, Choices, Choices...

I have met many who purport to dream of an independent life, and yet they feel dependent on that regular paycheck from a soulless corporation that's slowly draining them of their life essence.

The so-called "rat race" is designed to create the exact opposite of independence: conformity and dependence. And "breaking away" can be surprisingly difficult. Most people don't get to just "break away;" they have to carefully plan and save and make changes over a period of years to get from point A to point B.

The risk-reward question can be not only challenging, but it varies from person to person; from situation to situation. In most cases, we are not alone with our decisions — we have spouses, partners, children, elderly relatives to consider. Our dreams of independence may not be theirs, even if they empathize with our plight.

It took me almost nine years to get from "wanting out" to being able to "cut myself loose" from the final 20% or so of the mainstream I was dependent on.

Why does it so often go like that?

Why have we created this society in which people so often can't afford to do what they desire (and I'm not talking about "buying STUFF" here), and what they feel they have to do is so undesirable?

Independence Takes WORK!

As I shoveled snow yesterday, and actually enjoyed being outside during daylight hours, I contemplated how damn much work it is to keep oneself out of the "machine."

Maybe it isn't, for everyone.

In most cases, though, when I talk to those who say it was "easy" for them, a little probing often reveals that their 25 years with some corporation enabled them to save $3 million, or they got really lucky with investments... or their expectations for a life of "freedom" amounts to being a couch-surfing vagabond.

For me and my family, neither the former nor the latter apply. And never did.

Choosing peace

And for most who feel that "itch" of wanting independence and freedom, it doesn't. We often start the process out of a state of desperation and despair and cling to whatever straws we can find along the way... until we have enough to build ourselves a small "raft" of sorts.

It's often tempting to return to the "machinery" I escaped from. A regular paycheck that arrives at the same time, twice a month. Retirement plan. A measure of security when it comes to health insurance.

It's only "tempting," though... no more than that.

I might complain a lot... but I'm still glad to have what I have, struggles and all.

Thanks for reading!

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Created at 190210 14:33 PST
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