am i a writer now?

The moment you start writing, you're a writer. The moment you stop smoking, you're no longer a smoker.

If this is true, that means I'm a writer now.

I will write some more words and share them.

Vincent Van Gogh, he hangs on my wall and stares at me. With his one googly eye. I allow him to distract me. There's distractions everywhere. During these few sentences I've already had to surpress several urges to do some crtl + t and go to facebook. Probably means I should delete myself from it. Make space for new things.

IMG_0749_1.jpg

I did it.

One less distraction. I removed myself from the facebook without being completely sure of it. My heart was pounding while my head was realizing. Cutting myself of from a lot of persons.

To most of them I never talked anyway and never would again even if I kept it. Probably. Can't say for sure. It was reassuring to know that they were there. They're still there. I'm not anymore.

The urge is still present, to go to that feed and scroll down forever and ever. How much time did I waste while drowning in this feed? How many times did I give in to this disappearing without knowing?

The urge will disappear. In time.

I need to regain my focus.

I have fourteen days to change my mind. I can still un-delete myself.

The world's furnished to steal my focus. This world is built on attention. It doesn't seem that focus and attention belongs to the person itself anymore.

No.

My attention, my focus, my brain, it's no longer completely mine.

They are fighting over it. They are all fighting over my attention, my time. When I go to the supermarket. When I enter the train station. When I grab my phone. When I open my laptop.

And it was so easy for them to still my attention, because I didn't know they were after it. I was not aware enough to realize what they were taking from me.

It's time to take back what's mine. It's probably not going to be easy, but that's okay. I've had a too easy life so far anyway. And now it's time to train my brain.

Just like Vincent did. He painted and painted and painted and painted. I recall that he wasn't even that good in the beginning. He just didn't give up. He kept on painting.

Once I saw a series about him. The presenter of the series tried to crawl into the skin of Vincent. He read letters from him, to him, about him. He visited the places where Vincent had lived. He walked the same walks.

Once, the presenter dragged himself up the mountain hill. He was sweating, panting, carrying some heavy books with him. All while imagining that Vincent had done the same, day after day, over a hundred years ago. With his easel, his paintings, his canvas and whatever a painter needs to paint outside.

I don't remember much about the series, what I wrote here is about what I remember from it. And some more if I really try. Hope I didn't distort much.

What I remember the most is how, at the end of the series, the presenter was overwhelmed by his own emotions. He was crying for Vincent, for his sad life and his pain and his loneliness. I myself was overwhelmed by this compassion and it still passes my mind every now and then.

Vincent only painted for ten years. Imagine what a person could achieve.

No facebook means I've got more time to stare at Vincent.

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thank you for sharing this with me, very useful information!

Greeting @irenethemachine. Welcome to this wonderful community! You'll meet great people here... Write freely and keep steeming :)

thank you for welcoming me, i will try my best!

Facebook is so toxic it's actually sickening. They use algorithms to manipulate the emotions of their users. There are articles written about it.

I have so many "friends" over there I feel obligated to them. They also want my attention. It's hard to leave them behind. Still it's refreshing to be here on this site which actually uplifts and benefits.

I hope you manage to resist the urge to go back, no shame if you do though. Be gentle with yourself. I will be gentle with mine.

Give Vincent a wave for me!

Hi there, I gave him a wave!

Facebook is sickening! With it you're a prisoner, without it you feel locked out. I'm glad I did it though.
It's how they keep you on the facebook, isn't it, because your 'friends' are there too.

I think the void I feel now will be filled soon enough.

Yes, let's be gentle with ourselves :).

If you haven't joined Discord yet, please do! There is a lot of community building happening on Discord. It's where people hang out and talk, share posts with each other and chat. There is chat built into Steemit, but most folks use Discord for chatting.

I enjoy these Discord groups: Steem Star Network

PALnet

It won't replace the social aspect of the Zuckerberg of DOOM, but it will help you to find people who have like minds and share your interests.

See you around!

Steemit Ramble

I checked out Discord! Much to learn, but I will definetely take the time. Thank you for sharing.

See ya.

What an interesting introduction post. You are tough, I have yet to delete my fb. In time I may.

You are right about those distractions. I'm pretty sure a crack in a wall can disturb my writing process.

Thank you for stopping by :)

The realization that I could actually delete it came first to my mind some months ago. It took me a while to get used to the idea so that I could actually do it. :D

Cracks in the wall can be very inspiring though!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts @irenethemachine 👍

TBH it made me delete my facebook as well yesterday...now I have to control myself to not undoing it in the next 13 days.

But I think I will make it giving the situation that I as well thought this of many times before 🙇‍♂️

Have a nice time here on Steemit and Shine on with writing ✌

A very interesting post and very classy

To the question in your title, my Magic 8-Ball says:

Outlook good

Hi! I'm a bot, and this answer was posted automatically. Check this post out for more information.

Hi, irenethemachine! Wish you a very fun journey here in this loving and caring community :) Cheers!

By the way, there are several groups you as a newcomer can join. They will stay with you for your journey, helping and mentoring along the way.

@greetersguild invite link https://discord.gg/AkzNSKx
@newbieresteemday invite link https://discord.gg/2ZcAxsU

thank you. so much to learn. this is my very first encounter with discord!

Hi, Irene. Vincent was a very disturbed individual. Anyway..

Welcome! It is So nice to have you with us here. Please let me know if you have any questions by posting them here, and I will help if I can. Good luck!

thank you for your welcome. i don't have any questions, i have to say i'm kind of overwhelmed by the possibilities this platform brings!

Yep, all we need to do is clean up the reward system to make it less top heavy, get malicious downvoting and all the fake and paid upvoting cleaned up, eliminate spammers/scammers and multiple accounts, and ...to the moon!!

Haha, wow that sounds like a lot of work. Is there really that much clutter going on here?

How do I participate in making this a better place?

Well, you could do this: https://steemwhales.com/clean-trending/

But, the best you can do really is just mention the things I did in conversations you have with others. Supposedly, the "witnesses" are going to do something soon in the next "hard fork" to clean up some of it, but all we minnows have to keep the pressure on them!

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