You came back just in time - a few hours later and you'd have missed this...

Hi, you have won a full 100% upvote from MAP Rewarder Free Vote Friday!
Congratulations!

Sounds like some of the stress comes from other people's plans for you. Good to write it all down, whether published or not is less important. In the future, you can look back to see why you made the decisions you did, that those decisions had valid reasons and were in a context.