I guess you felt much better after bursting in crying. Usually resisting what we go through accumulates negative emotions. We may be hard on ourselves when we feel bad. Our minds tell we have to feel positive. Feeling positive can’t come by fighting feeling negative, rather by accepting our situation along with our emotions. We can still fixing our situation, asking for help while acceptence is in the background of our minds. Rushing things around, especially healing, is the same as resisting them.

Hope you get better soon.