Article posted as image files. Scroll down for all text version

---

---

Text

https://unsplash.com/photos/QJBsOY6e7QI

Living in a Material World: the moral conflict of gifts

AnaCe'

August 10, 2019

Psychology of moral sense is the ability to judge right from wrong. Psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg perceived that moral sense had three (3) phases:

Pleasure and pain

Authority and peer approval

Trust and promises, rights and duties

Trust and promises, rights and duties sounds simple enough, doesn't it? Pleasure and pain, got that no problem, but who's trust? what promises? Entitled societies have all the rights and duties just never seem to end.

I have a duty to raise my Daughter well and I have the right to determine what that means. What decisions are actually those that we personally make? Our mind is a junk drawer of perspectives, experiences, and knowledge and we are not the only people tossing things in the drawer. Much of the time, we aren't even in the same room while external stimuli is packing itself away in our minds.

What is right? There's a question that'll increase headache medication sales. Don't think about it for long. Hell, let's pretend that you didn't even read that.

Moving on-

I grew up listening to Madonna- another non optional stimuli. Let's not get into how she shaped a generation. A material world… first it was cool to be that, "more, more, more" girl and as we got older it was dignified to understand and respect that material junk is… useless junk.

I raised my Daughter to live and love life, nature, people, and experiences, not "junk". We wavered between going above and beyond (I'd been referred to as a "party mama" - it's not how it first sounds) with events, decor, entertainment, catering, and gifts to doing the extreme minimalist thing. Food was always a big deal regardless of the scenario, but when it came to gifts I (usually) strived to give experience above all.

I took family members to shows and my Daughter and I loved the theatre and frequent regional traveling. I was dead set AGAINST material items. You couldn't blame me when I have very little active memories of my childhood and my kid was essentially pushed out of her other side of the family- they only sent cards with cash.

I was the person who (thought they) meant it when I said that I didn't want a gift, even from a significant other. Then someone gave me a gift after I had strongly stated that I hadn't wanted one. The gift thrilled me. I don't even recall what the material item was, it wasn't especially impressive as gifts go but it was my gift. I then knew that I'd been lying- I wanted a gift and completely expected my bf to give me something; anything; it didn't really matter what.

Turns out that I thought, to be a good person with good morals it was vital to hate material offerings. Of course, 99% of the time I'd RATHER experiences and I certainly don't want more junk just because one feels obligated to buy me something. Please- no.more.junk.

But, if my boyfriend is buying himself a case of beer the day before my birthday and I don't get a gift… we are going to have a problem.

I felt guilty with this refound appreciation for material "things" until I looked at it on a natural level rather than modern greed. Penguins, birds, sea creatures, monkeys, cats, dolphins and even scorpions present gift offerings. If a damn monkey can appreciate the value of a gift, I sure as well was done feeling guilty.

Silly and useless as most are, presents cause an onset of feel good endorphins in the brain. I don't know about you but I think it's healthier to get a happy high with a bouquet of flowers opposed to a dose of drugs. Heck, maybe I was a penguin in a previous life because I like plain ol' lakeside rocks too. 

https://unsplash.com/photos/ZahNAl_Ic3o

Sources:

The Editors of the Encyclopedia Britannica (2009, April 20 - 2017, June 15) Moral Psychology. Retrieved 2019, August 10 from https://www.britannica.com/science/moral-psychology

Posted using Partiko Android