My dear Karen, I think you are too emotional about it! These people are not your family! Your family is you, your husband and your children, as long as they live with you and until they have created their own families. But these people are your relatives or your husband's relatives, but they are not your family. Neither you nor your husband and children are obliged to like them or prove something to them. You are self-sufficient. Do not worry about the relationship with these people, do not waste your energy that you and your family need!