It is not easy to put yourself on paper like this and express yourself. It takes courage. I think too many people are just keeping too much stuff inside because they are afraid of what others would think about them. I think we all struggle with the same problem you are having as well and the only way to solve the problem is to start working on it.

Not hiding it and pretending it is not there, but just like you working on it. That is how problems are solved. You don't just put a "carpet" over the stain and pretend the stain is not there. "Stains" are removed by cleaning it. Not covering over it.

You seem to have an amazing family around you, and I am sure with their support you will go through this tough time and overcome it. I think challenges are there to make us grow, and evolve as a person so maybe your "curse" is actually a push to make you grow as a person. At least, that is my humble opinion about it.

Thank you for sharing YOU with us, have an amazing day. :)