I just wanted to say that your reflections are worth every second of my time, and as you know time is one of the three most valuable things us human have. Where I come from, harship has brought out the best and worst of everyone, including myself. I see people who have a huge surpluss of fruit in their gardens, and when hungry children come by to ask for some, they sell it to them instead of giving them away. I also see women who have been scorned all their lives for their extravagant styles and sexual orientation be the only ones spending some money to feed starving stray animals. Most people in this country have learned to work the land, or to plant something, anything, that would provide nourishment without needing to spend money on it. The loneliness of the more advanced corners of the world is absent here for the most part, because with all our toil and trouble, we have been forced to look to our neighbors for help and support, and we have found them open and willinng. So even if it's hard to be happy on an empty stomach, having a network of support makes it a little easier, and that way we make it, little by little, holding someone else's hand.
I see, thank you for describing the circumstances where you live.
That is so true what you say. Just yesterday on our way back from my family I talked to my man and told him that I actually would prefer to be forced to live a more simple life and to take care of what is needed for shelter and food. Otherwise, I guess, I will become a lazy old lady. The need to be dependent on one another is not so bad as many people think. Independence is just an idea and causes more harm than good. But words can be mistaken ... I guess you get what I mean:)
I am holding many peoples hands, though. There is a lot needed in moral and mental support here.
Thank you for your kindness.
The singer Bjork is quoted saying that self sufficiency is ok, but the real challenge in life is to communicate withour fellow humans (I paraphrase, of course). I think this is true. I witness a lot of addiction to several things: drugs, food, sex, tv, movies, you name it, and almost invariably this addiction is caused by emptiness, by looking around and not having someone to talk to openly about yourself and your world view. I think the work you do is important, I hope many people do it as well and take it seriously.
Thank you. That is so good to hear.
Addiction I find in myself, as well. I compensate what I lack. Have you ever heard of Gabor Maté? He is a Canadian Doctor who deals a lot with addictions and he has some interesting things to say. There are quite some good youtube-videos on the net.
Emptiness is the main cause, I would say that, too. And the rest is habit.
What are you doing for feeling content and connected? Do you have certain people or things you practice?
I've watched a couple of Gabor Maté's videos, he has a good perspective on addiction.
I'm looking for things to do, actually. I'm a new-ish mom (my son is one year old) and also the financial support in the house, and I'm also the one responsible for cleaning and most of the cooking, so I'm having a little trouble enjoying myself. So I write, I draw when I can, and I read things that I relate to. I miss friendship, though. Do you struggle with these feelings? Even though you help people overcome them?
Oh, I struggle always with the exact feelings. I miss friendship and while I miss it I cannot see that I already got it. I have in fact some very good friends and I have a family who cares about me as much as I care about them. Missing is always in the way of seeing what already is there. I feel alone and when I start to concentrate on loneliness it gets stronger.
Yesterday, I talked to a pregnant client. As I printed out a picture for my niece who also is pregnant and I am going to see her tonight I spontaneously gave the print to that woman. I felt that I have to be generous towards her. Now I will print it out again and I am so happy I followed the impulse. This was for me a gesture of sisterhood and as it was a surprise for the client she will take a lot out of this meeting. A stranger giving a gift is a powerful experience for there is nothing to "win" or to expect.
When you miss friendship be friendly to another one and you will feel instantly the joy of being the giver. There is nothing better than that. You will feel the power of this experience. I know, feeling lonely is very powerful too and many times I let this feeling win. So I remember myself to watch a Dhamma talk from a Buddhist monk or nun and afterwards I feel lighter and better and gained back my humor.
That became my refuge whenever I let myself being sucked into negative emotions.
If you like, we can stay in touch by the discord chat. My name is there erh.germany#0661
Sisterhood, that's a lovely word :) I had forgoten about it. What is discord chat?
that is a possibility to chat with one another on a personal level. You can download it onto your computer:
https://discordapp.com