First, although my childhood years were vastly different, so SO much still resonates with me and my own experience. My husband very much 'rescued' me as well... I just rewrote our "how we met story" and he wrote it from his perspective as well. Just reading his side and then my own really brought home to me (again) how much he was my 'rescue' from the life I had always lived.

Possibly the most important piece of stability in our marriage is that I recognize the immense impact of those historical negative patterns on my present relationship with Nathan and I prioritize him. It would hurt more than a little to say goodbye to my parents, but I will choose a healthy relationship based on mutual respect and compassion over living their negative story.

Holy Cow... this THIS THIS. I don't know that I wanted him to actually HIT me, but I wanted him to fight, to yell, to say things to me that I could fight and old against him.

I still remember trying to provoke Nathan to hit me during a fight early on in our marriage. He asked, "Why do you want me to hurt you?"
I said, "So I know that you love me."

No wonder your other posts have resonated so much with me. I hope to write more of my story as well and work through yet more of these things in hindsight... now that I'm out of the intense 'in the moment' of some of those healing places.