I can relate to so much of this, in fact I basically started writing on Steemit after a similarly devastating experience. I won't make you false promises or guarantees that I could never know, but I can tell that you that reflecting on the relationship and working on myself has made me much happier, even if things never work out the way I had wanted them to. The truth that I've found is that people tend to come and go in our lives and the ones that are meant to last will. Learning to let go is never easy and I sincerely hope you find some solace in the responses that you've gotten here. I would suggest researching "the mirror exercise" as it was probably the building block that led to me ever finding any peace in my own life after being at that point, but one thing I can assure is that if you're willing to work for it and focus on yourself, it can get better and even if it looks nothing like you think you wanted, you can find purpose and peace. If I can do it, anyone can. Much love.