Sorry for your losses. I totally understand. When my father died, there was this huge family "rally round her" for mom that I got the benefit of being part of. It was a sadly joyous occasion, all my siblings were there and all the spouses, along with most of the grandkids. The entire town came to the funeral, our family was fed and comforted by the entire town. When my mother died, it was totally different. She had 6 living siblings, not one of them called to offer condolences to me. I had been back east to care for her 2 weeks earlier and so could not afford to go back for the funeral, and even MY siblings never called to grieve together or anything. Then all my aunts and uncles dies and no one even called to tell me. When my brother died, only me and two of my siblings came to his service, the other 3 could not be bothered. Here is the kicker... I am the youngest by quite a bit, I expect to outlive most if not all of my siblings. I do not expect to be notified when they die... I just do not really have a "family" any more. Not many friends, either... so it goes. What did you call it, "languishing." I always thought I was part of this big, close knit family, but once Dad died... I might as well have fallen off the planet, too.