They will use you as long as you let them | Freewrite
I blame it on the INFP - the inability to do anything half way.. the way that when I have a goal, I go all in.
It’s not a bad trait to have necessarily, but it sure is an exhausting one.
I’ve always admired those here that don’t get involved with “things”, they just come and enjoy the place while collecting some STEEM. I always wished I could just do that, but I am a fixer deep down in my soul - which means I have an inability to not get involved. I see things that need to be improved and I work to improve them, it’s just what I do.
Mix that with ideals that are probably too high, and an altruistic mindset that can get out of hand quickly, the complete unwillingness to play games and the lack of an agenda and it can leave someone set up for failure. But that failure is to themselves, as they are so focused on helping others.. they forget about themselves... and in this world, if you aren’t looking out for yourself, no one is.
I’ve always admired those who somehow found that balance - to be able to help others .. but not give too much of themselves away, I haven’t yet.
The problem with this is the more you give, the more people take, and the more they expect. It’s not even on purpose or their fault really, you after all are giving yourself to them.. and they just get used to it.
Maybe “use” isn’t the right word, but it’s what it feel like.
When the hoops to jump through are constant, the outer agendas always change, the goals of the few start to cloud the overall end goals and there is just no end in sight.. and what’s at the end anyways? What do you achieve from it? Well, nothing personally.. it’s all for the greater good. The success of the masses benefits each individual.. that has always been the goal. one for all
but what about you?
Who takes care of you, if you aren’t? Who says enough is enough and decides that it’s just too much? Who says that the weight you cant carry forever?
oh right, that’s you.
Yeah, you. You have to set up the boundaries, you have to learn to say no and realize you can’t fix everything on your own, and you have to understand that that is ok. No one else will do this for you, they will use you as long as you let them.
And it will leave you utterly crushed.
It’s still an ongoing journey for me, finding the balance. I’ve written about it a few times, and a few more and still I struggle with it. I guess that’s just part of life though, learning, growing...
and finding that place when you can tell yourself, that it’s ok to walk away.
Sometimes you have to just come to terms with the fact that you achieved all you could, and it’s time to move on. It’s not a failure and it’s not you letting people down, it’s just you looking out for yourself, even just a little.
And if you don’t, who will?
Don’t lose your faith, don’t lose your passion and don’t lose your ideals, but for goodness sake.. make sure you don’t lose yourself.
Take care of each other, just don’t forget yourself too.
Much Love,
Justine
depeche mode say it best, be more like depeche.
depeche is my guide.
It doesn't matter how much one does or doesn't do for others, if you can no longer do, all that has been done gets forgotten. I gave up a long time ago on the idea of reciprocity in relationships - the give and take of the world is more take and little give. So, I do what I do, others do what they do, sometimes paths cross for benefits, often for harms - eventually we die.
So many good people hitting burn out at the same time.
I've done it and I still do it, usually, now I catch myself before it explodes.
Man is not merely a social machine.
What you are concerned with is neither extrovert nor introvert.
You are not the only one living with mixed emotions.
Well! Maybe i should say I was once in your shoe for a long time but one day i sat down and think about what i have done and what am I doing, because no matter how I tried, it seems I am not doing it right. I will be well committed, loyal, good person to my best interest, good communication and at the end all blame will be on me. Then, i decided to work away as you did and focus on myself, walk away for years and I am enjoying it being myself once again.
Hello!
This post has been manually curated, resteemed
and gifted with some virtually delicious cake
from the @helpiecake curation team!
Much love to you from all of us at @helpie!
Keep up the great work!
Manually curated by @niallon11.
To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.
Brought to you by @tts. If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.
Hi Justine! Remember me? Your friendly neighbourhood musician and songwriter?
I really enjoyed your philosophical style post and especially, this extract -
Don’t lose your faith, don’t lose your passion and don’t lose your ideals, but for goodness sake.. make sure you don’t lose yourself.
I've had a tricky 6 months with my Mental health, almost lost my spark, my faith in me and my music and soul.
Therapy was amazing in the form of running, and I must say, I'm feeling more and more like DC again with each day.
It's so easy to let yourself become dispondent and demotivated by the world around you, that you almost just EXIST.
Let's not just Exist, let's live and cherish our inner strength, our passions and creativity.
Thanks again for your positive outlook.
DC🎼🎸
Well crafted Justine! Knowing your limitations is as important as remembering your strengths. We are all responsible for our own happiness and if certain burdens start infringing upon that it is ultimately ourselves, as you highlight, that have to recognize that and create boundaries.
Walking away sometimes is necessary. I see it as empowering rather than quitting. To be self aware enough to understand we have finite energy and time, and to redistribute these most precious commodities towards more viable goals is not just prudent, but often neccesary.
Enjoy yourself and leave for a while if you need to. I take breaks.
Fame has its cost and you are getting a bit of fame.