Age is just a number
I went out for drinks with my team and being in an all women team has some strange discussions especially when they a few drinks in.
Most of the time when they are out drinking with the team they don't really want to talk to other people let alone get hit on and have someone to hook up. So I sometimes end up as a huge cock block.
One of the guys that wanted to get to know one of them was I would say around almost middle age. When he was sent away one of the common comments from the table was he was too old and most likely married.
The second comment seems fair but I asked what is considered too old? Given that I know some of their suitors and past boyfriends as I have also had at times needed to turn them away especially if they were fighting or broke up.
So apparent to all of them but obviously not to me was there was an equation to what was too old.
The way to compute it was you take your age, divide it by two and add seven to it. So say you are 32 and divide it by 2 so you get 16 and add 7 you will get 23 as the youngest age of a person that you can date.
It got me thinking of the ages of the people that I have been with and did I subconsciously think of this when I was going out with people because I have never had anyone that was younger than a decade.
Yet I went out with older women when I was younger and had some intriguing relationships with them.
We all have heard that phrase Age is just a number when we see couples who one party is about double of the age of the other one. Some people make judgmental comments that the person most likely is after the money of the older person, or that they have daddy/mommy issues.
So why do people care about the age of people? Wouldn't it be that if they like each other enough that its what matters? As long as they don't hurt anyone or cheating then people should not think negatively about it.
Yet people's behavior to certain things are harder to change the girls just laugh it off as they drink another pitcher of margaritas as I silently drink my beer thinking of this?
What's your take over this age thing?
There are so many factors that could be the cause. Things like cultural acceptance, generational gap and varying perspectives may make age differences a big deal.
I don't think it should as long as the love is there, but then again, I've never dated someone more than seven years older than myself either
True there are cultures that age difference is frowned upon or condoned. I was thinking as well as those countries that have child brides and for them it is not a taboo unlike other countries.
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Age is only a number and I totally agree with it. Social acceptance might be an issue in some countries, but not in here. I have friends who have a ten or twenty years gap between them and they all seem to do just fine. They get exactly what they wanted from the relationship.
Yeah there are some countries that it is perfectly acceptable and some that frowns on it.
My sister married a person who was more than a decade than her and it was fine and I had a sister who married close to her age and it was fine. Each got exactly what they wanted.
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Okay, so, believe it or not, I feel myself somewhat of an expert on this particular topic. Hard to believe, I know. But wait. It gets good. :)
My wife is six to seven years older than I am. For most of the years, it's six. Her birthday happens to come before mine.
When we got married, I was 22, and she was 28, but her birthday was a little more than two weeks after that. Funny thing is, for the several months that we dated and were engaged, I never once asked her how old she was. She looked young, and I, at the time, looked a little older. If anyone wondered about our ages, no one said anything.
It wasn't until years later, after both of our sons were born with the oldest probably in middle school, that her brother was talking about how old she was during a trip we made to visit with them. He's kind of a prank-pulling, joking kind of a guy, so I didn't believe him at first. It wasn't until I asked my wife later that she confirmed it.
I thought, "Hunh." And then pretty much dropped it. It's been the subject of conversations many times since, but from the standpoint of we're both growing old or we're not getting any younger. If we retire at all, she would do it several years before me.
What's strange about this is, there were other girls that I was seeing more or less at the same time (a date here and there, or just hanging out). All four of them (that I can remember now), were older than she was. At the time, I didn't even think of it as an issue for me. While girls supposedly mature faster than boys, young women can hold onto a lot of bad habits well into their mid-to-upper 20s, one of them spending money like its water, or wanting to hang out with their friends, etc., like most males still want to do.
I didn't have to worry about that. What I did have to worry about was towing the line. She had some expectations that needed to be met. At the time, they were mine, too, so I did what I could with the lack of college education, training or job experience I had, got fired a few times, until I finally landed a steady job and went from there.
Over the years, interestingly enough, the age gap has crept into our lives a little more than it did earlier. I think at this point she feels much older than me. For most of our marriage, she looked younger than I did, despite being older. Now, she looks older than I do (though she's still got more energy than I'll ever have).
I'm not sure what middle aged men are doing around 20-30 something women (guessing that's the ages we're talking about), but I can't imagine it being much of anything good. I think the age range thing you have is a little too far afield, though. There are psychological, along with physical differences that tend to kick in at certain ages. It's better to be closer in age when they do. :)
Although I have never seen a picture of your wife I had the impression before that she was younger because you always talk about how compared to you she always had youthful energy.
That is pretty interesting to know that she is six years older than you but it didn't bother you. Interestingly enough since women tend to be more emotionally mature than guys they say its hard to be around someone of their own age because they tend to have different expectations and goals so they have fun with guys their own age but go for older guys for relationships.
I had some women say that to me when they meet me because they think I am responsible and know what I want to do with my life not knowing that I am a 16 year old kid who still watches cartoons and play video games lol. My professional persona is so different from my personal one hahhaha.
I think that's how most of us are. I think I'm probably still 35 mentally. I haven't really gotten past that point. I'm still wanting to do things that I discovered back then, and I'm still hoping to work on other projects, like writing and creating comic books, that I first wanted to do when I was in my mid-teens. So, mentally, I think I'm still young. Emotionally, I'm better than I was 17 years ago, and certainly much better than when I was younger. Physically, though, it hurts just to lay down. :)
Yeah, well, that's my wife. Youthful exuberance. Men tend to die sooner, though, so having an older wife is actually better. Maybe not six years so much, but better than being six years older and having the wife continue on for another ten after he passes on.
I really think the emotionally mature thing is just a front. Women can be just as immature. They just like to make you think they're not. And since men are men, they get intimidated by that. That's my take on it, at least. It's possible that women used to mature more than men and quicker, but I think women can and do as much to keep them from maturing as men, so whatever physiological advantage there might be during the teenage years, I think with each passing generation, the gap is made up quicker.
I love this post and I love the comments! Mave I had no idea you were 16 :D I have always thought of you as an older person (or was that you being sarcastic?)
Even if you are or not I think that just goes to prove that age can sometimes fly out the window.
I believe that it comes down to connections. I have had 2 men in my life that were 10 years older than me and were quite different from each other in how they carried themselves. One was more down to earth and the other wanted to have fun and experiment.
Today I am married to a man that is younger than me but not by much, just a year and a bit. Yet he seems to have more maturity than me in some aspects and in some things it is me that has more. And to add to that he is quite boring. I call him an old man as he tells me he likes to just sit in his rocking chair and watch tv XD.
That's not all he does :p He can't he has kids and me lol. I don't want him to get all wrinkly before his time, gotta keep him moving lol.
It really is about what you want, what you look for in a person and how you connect with that person. And sometimes life can take a turn and you get introduced to someone completely different from your needs and fall in love with that person, young or old.
Society has this fake normal thing going on. "It is normal to be with someone close to the same age, it is normal to be with someone with money, it is normal to dress the same way as the higher class/singers/actors people." The list goes on. But people fail to see what is really going on and need to put their ego aside. The beauty of it lies between what 2 people have, that invisible rope that binds them that can never be cut. Love has no age, no boundaries and that is what people need to be taught. That and acceptance, live and let be and be happy for them even if it's not what 'you' agree with. Just be happy for them that they are happy, that they have love. That is what should be more talked about. Then people will loosen their grips. xx
I love this thought.
That is the thing that love binds people regardless of age, status, upbringing and culture.
Thank you for sharing something personal about yourself as well :)
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Of course! I think that people could learn and feel something when reading your post and comments. It could help them broaden their thoughts and opinions. I would at least hope so.