Winter Is Coming
Winter is coming.
Intoned my mate Daz, as if he were wearing a cloak made of crow feathers whilst leaning on his sword in the bitter North.
Aye, Winter is a bit shit.
I agreed merrily, tucking into the fluffy cake which accompanied my coffee.
Does it not get to you though? The fucking darkness. The clocks going back. Dark when you leave for work. Dark when you come home from work. Just darkness all the time... And the cold. The fucking bitter cold.
It's a bit of a pain in the arse, aye.
I agreed. Waving my spoon at him as if I was shaking my penis at an angry rooster.
He did not seem happy at my apparent indifference to the soul-crushing emptiness of a Scottish winter.
If only we could run away.
He said quietly.
I snorted like a baby pig eating a lettuce.
Run away. Where to?
Spain.
He announced. He looked off into the distance, his eyes taking on a mad shine.
I mean, we could do it. Couldn't we? Think of the sun, the beaches... It would be awesome.
I took him up on his fevered imaginings.
It would be. Chilling all day long. Wandering about without a care in the world. Flip-flops instead of shoes. Aye, flip-flops, sounds magic.
He crouched forward with an almost snarl.
Aye mate. It would be magic. Not a care in the world. Fuck work. Fuck winter. Fuck...
He waved his hot chocolate around at the park.
Fuck all of this.
He hissed.
I sensed a madness in the air and crooked an eye around for danger before realising that I was sitting having a coffee with the source.
Let's just do it then, fuck all of this shit. Fuck it. You have all that weird crypto money don't you? I've got savings. Fuck it, let's go to Ibiza! Let's live like Kings without a care in the world!
He exclaimed loudly causing a nearby pensioner lady to jerk in her seat as if her husband had presented her with an erection.
I paused mid-spooning a bit of cake in my mouth.
Well, you know me mate. I like to be as nuts as the rest of them but there is one small problem with that plan?
What? What! There are no problems that can't be overcome mate. None, fortune favours the bold!
He shifted in his seat as if a pile was forming at the entrance of his dark snarler.
His youngest, strapped to his chest like the little boom was strapped to mine, let out an angry squall.
Aw bollocks.
He muttered, attempting to calm his little one back to sleep.
Yep, that's the small problem I was talking about. You were forgetting about the children. Oh and the fact you have another on the way.
I chirped.
He looked crushed as if it hadn't been a flight of fancy and he had almost booked the tickets.
Aye. The children. Well. One day mate... One day.
I patted him on the arm in sympathy.
Aye mate. One day...
One day in the verra distant future....here I am feeling sad about the departure of one child and the not to far off departure of the last-- now I'm thinking WOOT!! I can go to Ibiza!!
EXactly, you are free now. Get your light sticks a poppin and hop on that place!
😲
Is that common with women?
I believe so. Only what I have heard mind :OD
His children tie him down from the freedom he desired. I will not be surprised if one day he says to his family that he is going to work overseas but actually he is actually enjoying in Spain. Upvoted!
I would not be surprised myself either!
Wait..... you have some weird crypto money? Why didn't anyone tell me... I would have been so much nicer to you.... Have I told you that you're handsome beyond belief? A king amongst hobbits?
Ugh. That's exhausting... forget that, you can keep your weird internet magic money... there's a more important reason why you can't just move off to Spain... don't worry about the children, they don't have the finances to follow you or the skills to hunt you down... the reason you can't go is the same reason I can't go... our very skin betrays us.
You, me and Daz will be lobsterfied in minutes...
No man should be forced to live in a country where the very air hates him.
Sun cream!! Sun cream!! Its the answer and if that is the only reason then we are onto a winner!
Come and join us. We can all Spain it together with out magic weird internet crypto money!
@meesterboom since I have reason to use, climate changes were always grounds for convergence, when it is winter you want to flee from it, in this case to Spain, when it is summer you want to flee to Alaska, there is no conformism.
Another Daz is outdated, cryptocurrencies are no longer quoted as before
Excellent reading dear friend
I wish you a wonderful week
Crypto was once great..I would have time buyingab bag of potatoes with it these days!
I wouldn't mind that kind of fleeing. Always one step ahead of the winter!
Mwa ha ha ha ha ha! Down here at the arse end of the world, summer is almost here...
Dang, that's right. You're upside down!! And what a lovely summer you are bound to have!!
Go South, young man, go South.
Follow the footsteps of too many of your predecessors,
There is even a quick delivery service available, only 20+ hours crammed on a little seat, usually with " the hulk" spreading beside you.
Then you have the choice, a.
Where the assisted immigrants ( somebody carried their ball on board for them) went, now known as Australia,
Or b,
Where the ball less went, New Zealand.
There is even a cold section down the bottom of the South Island, so the Scots can think it is summer all year around.
Hahahaha!! I quite like the idea of B I don't know why!!
There is a city called Dunedin, aka Edinburgh of the South, it used to be populated by men who were unsure of their sexuality, they wore skirts all the time.
Had a big willie wacker on top as well, just in case they showed interest in the sheep as well.
They team up in gangs, each bloke has a poor wee kitten under his arm, then the leader would point the way, and off they went, each bloke chewing away on his cats tail, oh how those poor wee kittens suffered.
I think that's the maddest thing I have read in a while!! :0D
Nah, there is a bloke, calls himself Boom, pops up most days, you should give him a read.
The saddists in the " Cat Band" have spread, we even have a band in our small village ( 4,000) if everybody is at home.
Ok then you topped it there!! :0p
Seriously, down the deep south, they have a week, in a bad year, two weeks of snow,
Where we are 1/4 way up the north island, we moan if there is a frost, the top 1/3 don't know what we are talking about.
While you are still young, have a think about exploring other places to live.
There are other places? I subscribe to the thought that there is nothing outwith my town and that anything else is a conspiracy
Well, if you had to spend a Winter in New England you'd think even the coldest Scottish Winter a day in Sunny Spain, so it's all relative ;)
That's why this year I'm gonna be in south UK for the Winter. That is MY idea winter, temps that are like New England Spring, but all winter long? Yes please. Cool enough to wear my barbour and my wellies and slosh about in the muck and drink coffee watching the English rain...heaven to me :) But, again, old gran with brolly in constant search of hot tea in chipped cups and cats to sit upon laps :)
Then you will truly find yourself in old gran heaven!!
Sounds like heaven to me!
Looks like you're going to go ahead a year or two before Daz, unless his good lady suddenly decides on yet another babe. Is Ibiza even going to still exist when the birds are ready to leave their nest? Hmm? Will you suddenly stumble upon them while on Ibiza and have a period of awkward silence? These are the questions that keep me up at night.
I dread to think of when my kids are old enough to go clubbing on Ibiza!!
Yeek, I will be ancient! Hopefully still steeming!!
What? Are you kidding me? Of course you won't be Steeming. Of course! You'd be MeesterBooming, because years from now, after the catastrophic HF25 and the triumphant return to form of HF28, you will be synonymous to Steeming. Sure, there will be days you will be trying to mediate between the Cult of Boom and the Super Friends of the Boom Meister, in their ongoing civil war for control of Steemit, but most days would be fine.
Hahaha, if only it would be so. I would welcome all under the banner of boom!!
I can't wait for HF28! ;0)
O if it was only so easy just to leave work and jump on plane. So summer is coming for us. Already so hot and not even proper summer. I am not made for summer with this snow white skin of mine. I love spring and summer in the mornings and evenings. Good luck for your winter.... it is way worse than ours.
I envy you your summer. If ours just lasted a little longer perhaps or winters wouldn't be the trial they are!