Abercrombie & Snitch
I can't wait, he is one of my favourite authors. This will be amazing!
I babbled at my colleague Kali-Mari.
I had just booked a ticket to see Joe Abercrombie, a slightly famous gritty fantasy author who was doing a signing of his new book at the local bookstore next week.
To say I was excited was an understatement.
What, who are you going to see?
Interrupted another colleague, a small BSA chap we all called Snitch on account of his clitoris-like nose.
Joe Abercrombie, the fantasy author. You know him?
I said, hopping from foot to foot.
Snitch made a face like a Goat's arse in a fire.
I stopped my hopping and gave him a hard stare.
What's with the face? You not like him or something?
Snitch shook his head and made a deep lowing sound like a cow with cracked nipples at the approach of her six hungry calves.
I tried one of his books once but I'm just not into all that gay porn shit.
He shook his head at the folly of the gay porn shit fans.
What gay porn shit?
I asked, baffled.
Snitch made a humphing sigh and looked at me pityingly.
That fucking sex scene with the alien dude and cocks everywhere. For fuck sake, is that not gay enough for you?
He sneered at my genteel innocence.
I don't remember any scene like that... Are you sure that wasn't a dream you had, mateychops?
I clucked at him like a contented old chicken in a shoebox filled with straw.
Snitch puffed up with indignation.
Was it fuck!? We don't all dream about cocks, mate.
His face purpled at the thought of all the cocks chasing him in his sleep.
I had a thought.
Hey, do you want to come with me to the book signing? It will be good fun and afterwards there's bound to be lots of cocks and alien dude sex?
I smiled winsomely at him.
He gazed back at me with the stoniest expression I have seen in a long long time.
No thank you.
He replied stiffly turning to walk away.
Are you sure? I'll let you suck me off afterwards?
I called after him.
He jumped, mid-stride, as if stung and turned ever so slowly to face me, his little mousey face twitching wildly.
There's something wrong with you.
He muttered indignantly then stomped off.
I nodded. He was probably right.
hahha the photograph is very funny ☻
I quite liked it, thank you!
I always assume homophobes have walk in closets.
Hehe, that they never leave!!! I agree, his reaction was very over the top!
It seems the moral code is lacking in your office Boomy. Can you hook me up with a job?! :)
You would probably like it here, we are solely lacking in decorum!! :0D
Sounds perfect :) I'm still hunting the fun people out in the office - there has to be someone with dark comedy but I am yet to find them.
They often hide in plain sight. With only the occasional blurting of the word vagina in a meeting!! :0D
Damn. I'll have to make sure I'm awake throughout the next one then!
Lol, that is the hard part right enough!!
The coffee machine is expertly placed next to the meeting rooms though - they thought that one out!
Man, that is good thinking. In my place is on a different floor. Mind games!!!!
Calves sucking from the teets of their mothers? Now that is sci-fi. Big dairy outlawed that kind of behaviour a long time ago.
That's true, o never even thought of that! I blame all of those kiddy books I have to read to my children which have farms as these idyllic places with mummy and daddy animals all a smiling!!
Kids authors should really update their settings to factory farms and feedlots! As a bonus, kids would probably go veggie much quicker! 😀
Veggie and sleepless with the horror of it all!! Lol!!
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Kamikaze argument right there! I've had a couple of those kamikaze arguments myself, there is nothing better to end a discussion...
Why do people get so jumpy over the gay topic, it's 2019, let people do whatever they want to do, it's not like it is contagious or anything...
It's weird, sometimes you think everyone is cool with it and then someone says something like this that makes you realise that for some it will always be 1970!!
...........but there is more wrong with him because he obviously read a totally different book. Have fun at the book signing, I quite like his books.
Is Snitch perhaps confusing Mr Abercrombie with another writer or is he one of the types that kind of say random things to sound knowledgable/cool? XD
I actually think he was, in fact I am fairly sure I know the author in question, a Richard Morgan, he did the Altered Carbon series which is currently on Netflix. He also did a fantasy series which has aracy number of sex scenes in it. I didn't fancy helping him out though, :0D
I read Altered Carbon, didn't watch the series. I don't remember there being that much sex in it but it's been a while. Perhaps it is the racy one that he remembers but this is funnier XD
Lol, Altered Carbon was on on that front, it was his fantasy series, The Steel Remains I think our something. That might be one of the books in the series, I think it was a trilogy. It was rather good if I remember regardless of who was humping what!!