Jilly
Aye aye, what's all this then?
My brother had hopped into my car and was strapping himself in when he stopped and stared at my chest.
What?
I said grumpily, suppressing the urge to find a folder and clasp it over my moobs spectacular pectoral muscles.
He clunked his seatbelt in and twisted to face me properly. His face was one of curious disbelief and disgust as if I was wearing stiletto heels and had asked to be called Chantelle.
What the fuck is it?
Said I a little impatiently. It was becoming unpleasant to have him leer at me so.
He reached forward one of his sausage'y fingers and poked at my Gilet.
What the fuck is this, wee man?
as a remnant from our youth sometimes my brother calls me 'Wee Man' which he did when we were young. He knows it annoys me and says it to be cuntish.
What do you mean? It's a bloody Gilet, that's what it is.
I said with a weary shake of the head.
My brother is Old School. That means nothing new escapes comment. Anything different and he is up in arms, poking at it and shouting that he doesn't like it. Hey, now that I think on it he would fit right in here. :OD
My brother trembled and shook, his face going red and odd looking. I rather frantically hoped he wasn't about to ejaculate. That might make the family dynamic a little awkward.
Your jacket...
He spluttered, choking, hooting noises coming from his mouth.
Your jacket... HAS NO ARMS!!!
At this, he started flopping about in his seat like a fish that has decided it doesn't want to be someone's dinner after all. I realised that he was laughing. In fact, he was not just laughing. He was almost pissing himself with laughter.
It's a Gilet, it isn't meant to have arms.
I stated.
Bet the ladies love that, you wearing a jacket with no ARMS!!!
He proceeded to laugh himself into what seemed like an early death.
Eventually, he stopped.
Where did you get it then?
He asked with genuine curiosity as if suspecting I had been shopping in one of them fancy boutique's.
Some shitty online place. Cheap as anything. They had a sale, it was only fifteen pounds.
My brother stopped giggling and looked at me long and hard.
Fifteen fucking quid? Seriously?
He reached forward and fingered my front Gilet in astonishment.
Aye.
I said tersely wondering if it would be ok to punch him in the neck and throw him out of the now moving car into a ditch.
My brother was silent. I fancied I could hear his brain clanking and whirring away like an old and rusty clock.
Then he spoke.
If I give you the money, can you get me one?
I managed to nod whilst shaking my head.
Dick.
I had no idea those things had a name. I've been calling them puffy vests. Something about that gilet name really bugs me. It is sort of like a mullet - the short parts are confused with the long.
Just imagine if someone wore that puffy vest with a mullet.
I think that would look like the most horrid thing in the whole wide world!
I had to Google how it was pronounced. I used to call them bodywarmers lol!!
Regardless of pronounciation, gilet=mullet to me now. It is cemented ;)
I am in a warm climate, so I thought those were just used as a layer under coats in really cold climates, rather than a stand-alone. I learn so much from your blog.
The sole purpose of my blog is to educate. Yep, that's right ;0)
I used to think they were weird but then someone I know for one and I was like are they warm? And he was like raaar!! I am King man, see me roar. That was me sold
Well, since they are kingly and manly and stuff, I suppose that makes sense.
I agree. 2 million percent!!
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I had to look this up being a completely non fashion bloke.., and prone to taking the piss out of anything I don't know bugger about...
Are you really wearing one of these...? Its like a jacket tank top!
HAHAHAHA!!!
I am, will, not like the second woolly picture but more like the first with a bit more weight and less tattoos!! :0D
Next time he comes over, serve him something with tahini it. Or that vegan cheese I linked in that other post.
He would faint. Genuinely would. He is the most unworldly man in the world. He thought I was gay when I said I liked olives!
Wow. Olives are pretty mainstream these days. Actually, he reminds me of my ex-flatmate's dad in Inverness. We bought hommus to his house once and he was highly suspicious so they'd probably get along. His dad also liked fresh air and kept all the windows open a bit, despite it being freezing.
Oh man, hummus!! That would be worse. Yeah olives are like normal but not to him!!
This is the oxford dictionary meaning, or it should be. However, I like sleeves on coats - if it's not that cold, wear a t-shirt 😁
It is that weird middle ground you have here where is far too cold to wear a t-shirt alone but not cold enough to wear a jacket. A genuine 21st century gentleman's conundrum!!! :0)
In my 20s I'd risk a t-shirt and getting lucky, now it's all about the layers, of fat.
I know them layers alright. I layer up both ways!!
I used to wear tank top jerseys. People used to laugh at me saying I had no fashion sense. That may be true, but they came back in fashion lol. Wear what you find is comfortable, I happen to like my arms free. You can swing faster if you aren't all hunched up. My brother is also a dick most of the times.
Hehe, I do indeed wear what I like. Fuck the or if them I say.
Strange thing with brothers eh, my wife gets on fairly well with her family. Me and my brother though, ooft!
@generikat once told a story of the urchins from down her road commenting in awe at her husband's old-fashioned jacket from before sleeves were invented. Alas, a quick search of her archive does not reveal the post to my searching eyes.
Haha, it is astonishing how such things can gather such attention!!! If you find it I will read it!
Poking fun at things people are sometimes envious of, never ceases to confound me. Well...maybe not 'never'...??? Perhaps more like 'once in awhile' or occasionally?
Never mind...Skip the stupid comment and get on with your day. My apologies.
I never skip a comment!
It confounds me as well. Some people live for it though!
You need to do a video demonstrating nodding while shaking your head XD
I have a hoodie with no arms, it's kind of a jumper thingi rather than a jacket though. I love it and usually draw my characters wearing them XD
So did you get him one? :D
I did indeed, I ordered it and it has already been despatched apparently! In no time at all he can join The Sleeveless in our goal to take over the world!!
I charged him 20 quid for the pleasure... Ahem.
It's funny as I have like the old school Barbour gilets. Just always been a part of my wardrobe and when I'm in the UK I call it my gilet and when in USA my vest (Which is what we call them here. I know UK vests are what we call 'wife beaters' not a great name, eh?)
And of course we all know now Gilet jaunes right? Poor France.
Ah the wife beaters, truly a poor name. I do like my vests in the summer but no beating of the wives.
And of course the gilet jaunes, which my phone doesn't seem to like typing.