No Cigar
Today I volunteered to take the little man down the road to his nearby baby Yoga session.
You could say I was very selfless. Giving the good lady a little bit of time to herself to spend with the little lady and catching some downtime from Big Shouty McShouty that our little boom has come.
Yes, it is very selfless of me.
Alright then. It's not really. I admit it, I only go for the Mummies. There are stacks of them with their little ones and now that the ravages of the births are months in the past, some are rather hot.
They can also be quite a flirtatious lot.
So, today we sat on the mat facing the Yoga chick, who blithered on about some kind of leg lift being good for their lymphatic something or other and that turning their bodies just so helped maintain good energy flow.
I nodded and enthusiastically moved my little boom into all manner of positions as requested, he seemed to like it.
One of the hotties mummies nearby was smiling and talking to me about how her little Charlie was boob daft and couldn't get enough of them.
I laughed. Boob daft... Fancy that. I was about to offer some witty response when I smelt a familiar manure-like stench.
Oops, someone has a present for me I think?
I joshed with manly bravado as I flipped out our changing mat expertly and laid the little boom on it. Nappy changing the little guy has become quite the doddle these days as now he is eating quite well his poo's are all quite the solid little chubby things.
I opened up his nappy and there as expected was a big fat brown Havana cigar of a poop.
I chuckled and started pulling a baby wipe out to grab it.
The hottest mummy on the planet mummy next to me looked over and gasped.
Oh you are so lucky! Little Charlie is still struggling with food and his poos are a big wet mess!
I took my eyes of the little boom for a second.
It has been quite good since he started scoffing his food. I mean he is as messy as...
I stopped at the expression on the mummy beside me went from envy/adoration to absolute nightmare horror.
What is it?...
I said feebly as I turned to where her eyes were staring out in bug-eyed disbelief.
EEEEEEKK!
I recoiled in horror myself as I witnessed what she and every other mummy was seeing.
The little boom had sat up and was cheerily holding out his chubby Havana cigar poop to me in one clenched fist and before I realised what was happening he pushed it into my open hand.
It wasn't as solid a poop as it looked.
I made my excuses, grabbed him and fled to the toilet for a mammoth cleaning session.
I have a certain feeling that the days of flirty yoga mummies might be over.
ahahaahaha--so glad I stopped by your way @meesterboom! Funny how the little ones take our life and conversations into the all important moments of what goes in one end and comes out the other. No doubt the hot yoga mammas also speak that language--so you're likely just getting a warm up.
Thanks for the laugh. I love your sense of humor! <3
Hehe, cheers m'dear!! I hope it's not just a warm up :0D
It will likely be whatever you want it to be! Cheers back to you dear @meesterboom!
Good on the little guy. There is a very clear message in what he did. He's saying:
Seriously though, I thought baby yoga was just something made up by Alexander McCall Smith as a tool for Irene to torture poor Bertie and the new baby.
Lol, is big business here! Or at least, it might be in the circles my good lady dwells in.
I manage to dodge most of them so did this one for brownie points. Yuck!
Ha! Brownie points, I see what you did there! Yuck all right.
Hehe ;0)
EWWWWW!!!!!
That's all there is to say about that.
I know, I still feel like my hand is dirty!!!
A baby Yoga session became a messy poop affair. It is good that you react fast to the little boom shennanigens or else it is all lost. Upvoted!
Lol, I shouldn't have taken my eye of the ball!!
Dag gummit, another grand B-Plan, spoiled by reality.
There really should be a parental merit badge given out, for all the things you have to mop, pick up, get squirted on you, or get handed to you. Your sash would be full
My sash would be full and I would be desperate to graduate. I am tired of bodily fluids and yuk!
Leason 1:
Keep your mind on the job. You have now learned where you end up with if you don't
Leason 2.
Don't do the good thing too often, the good lady knows what the other mums look and act like, attend too often and you will be in the product at home.
To the lord and future Master: Well done, you sucked the old man in very well, be ready for your next chance.
Yeah, he got me good. I shall pay more attention in future!!
Oh, I've missed you Boomdawg! What with the travelling and then having houseguests, I just have barely been able to keep up my posts, much less curating. This made me chuckle! Thanks!
I am glad I could raise a chuckle lass!!!
I honestly thought you were going to say he was eating it! EWWWWWWWWW, YUK!!!! lol.
Haha nah, I am so glad he wasn't eating it. I don't know if I could have coped!!
That sure would up my gag reflex, lol!
The hot moms are what we call MILF's here in the states!
Oh I know the MILF's :0D
Hahaha.. It's hilarious and eewwwww at the same time !
I would have been much happier with a right solid thing. Lol!!
exactly! solid would have been better.. but lol poopy cigar!! I don't wana imagine more.. haha :))
Yeah, stop those thoughts dead in their tracks!