Rent
Hey, do you owe me some money?
I asked the good lady absentmindedly.
What? Do I owe you money?!
Her response seemed a tad angrier than I would have expected.
In fact, when I turned to face her she looked almost frothy of the mouth angry, like a dog that has bitten a cinnamon and raisin bagel.
Yeah, I can't quite place it but I am sure you owe me some money, do you?
The good lady put down her coffee on the kitchen table with a bit more of a bang than was necessary.
Owe you money? Are you serious? I put my everything into this house and raising our beautiful children and you are asking me if I owe you money?
Erm, well, yeah? I mean, relax baby-cheeks, I am only asking. I was sure that you did?
The good lady did not look very happy, as if I had hidden all her big pants again leaving only an underwear drawer full of thongs.
How many years have we been married?!
She barked.
I opened my mouth to say a random number but thankfully she cut me off.
You can't even remember, can you? And yet, you seem to magically remember this mysterious sum of money I am alleged to owe you?
If she became any more interrogatory she would have to start shaving just like Columbo.
Look, it's cool. Forget about it, I am not that fussed.
Said I with the slick wetness of a freshly hatched otter.
Ohhhh. Forget about it?? I suppose I should forget about it when I am cleaning all this?
She motioned around her with gritted teeth in the general direction of the house.
Working my fingers to the bone running a household. I suppose you are going to say that you pay for the mortgage and all the bills? Am I just a freeloader? Perhaps it's rent I owe you? Does Daddy want his rent?
She made a sort of kissing face as if I was trying to make her pay me in beef-dollars.
I gave her that special gnarly look that I usually save for when she tells me she has polished one of my guitars.
A memory came seeping into my mind. The other day she had asked me to pick up some of her godawful weird vegan cheese. I had said no because no-one likes it and she had told me she would give me the damn money for it.
It was the cheese.
I said with a smile.
The good lady bit her bottom lip.
Ah, the cheese.
I smiled even wider and like a teenage boy on the bus spread my legs apart as if riding an unfeasibly fat horse.
So... About that rent?...
You sure know how to keep a woman "sharp", so to say.
It's a knack! You gotta work hard to keep it sharp though!! :0D
haha! sir meesterboom, this is so funny. Oh and the artwork is great too. now you know how to really get her going if you ever need to for some strange reason and if you wanted to live dangerously!
Living dangerously is the only way to live!!
haha! you're a braver man than me meesterboom!
Numbnuts. You are a disaster. Treat them mean and keep them keen doesn't work. Never raise money as if you do she will want half your crypto when she leaves. Thank god steem is complicated and we can delegate so our wives have no idea exactly what we have.
Haha! A disaster or a God among men!!!
She wants 100% of my crypto now so going down to half would be a win!!
Hehe but you are right, thank goodness there are ways for them not to see how much you have!!
Hey! You may be onto something right here! Yes indeed! Half of something lost is better than losing it all! That is why I like to read and learn from the Boomster!
Hehe, of the things I could teach... If only any of them were worth learning!
Danger Young Will Robinson ... DANGER!!!!
That piece of nasty vegan cheese might cost you a lot more than you've ever expected.
I think the first taste of that cheese cost me way more than I had ever expected. Ican still taste it now!!
I hear you. My daughter is now into vegan cheese. Every time she finds one that she thinks is good, she recommends I try some.
I'll stick with my cow/goat/sheep cheese, thank you very much. If I want highly processed vegetables that represent a dairy product, I'll have some margarine.
I am with you there. It's not even add if I am adverse top trying things like that. It's just that every time I go they stink!!
I'd say you are pretty lucky she feels badly about her cheese, but be careful. She might still be resentful and pull the old "I forgot I have an appointment" just when there is a diaper explosion or the children are screaming like maniacs and you happen to be just sitting down with a beer. I'm not saying from experience - of course I would never do that...;)
Hehe, of course not. Oh no never!!! I Corrientes help it, I didn't care about the money but getting a rise out of the missus is almost worry anything!! :0D
My husband is the same way. He has an array of things that he knows will fire me up, and he does it with a smile. Pesterers is what you all are. This platform doesn't think pesterer is a word, but it is. The dictionary can link it with "husband" :)
Oh yes it needs that link. Hehe z it's downside. What am exciting time it makes for this whole partnership thing!!
I think that is the most interesting part of adult life - the compromise involved in partnership.
It is, without it a relationship is nothing
Out of all of this all I can say is... ICK Vegan 'cheese'? What's the point? if one is meant to be 'vegan' why eat faux non-vegan things... eat bloody veg that looks like, well, veg!
That is all, please tell me there is no 'milk' made from things other than the natural process of a mammal's breast?
There isn't any such milk yet but who knows when it will come!
I have always been baffled by that bit. If you want to be vegan, fine. Let's not bother with trying to replicate all the stuff you love though!!
Dammit I was rooting for the good lady for a win
Lol, she wins far too often!!
It sounds like you and the good lady are totally opposites from one another. I am guessing that she is the more stable side hahaha. Just out of curiosity - was the rent paid LOL?????
Lol, it wasn't paid!!! Outrageous!!
Hehe and yes, she might be the more stable and sensible one of the two of us :0)
How lucky are you that the little woman doesn't withhold sex from you for your shenanigans. :)
I am incredibly lucky that way!! Of course that assumes that we would be having sex in the first place HAHAHAHA!! Oh my, I need a lie down.
Ohhhh! LOL
Oh I am with you on this one, Vegan cheese is total BS- it cannot be cheese if it's not made from milk! And it's so so gross! I would definitely have to charge someone for that ;)
Sitting at the airport, first flight got cancelled cuz blizzard, but yay, they gave me a better flight without the layover so now I leave an hour later and arrive two and a half hours earlier, woot!
Love that the airport has wifi :)
It's foul!! This stuff rates like those cheap cheesy crisis that you get with a hint of coconut of all things. The aftertaste then lingers for about two days in your burps. Pure foul nonsense!!
That sounds like quite the good deal that has worked out for ya!!