Titles Like These Are Important So I'm Writing A Good One Today
Just A Post
A post about the post that isn't a post.
Before you come here to tell me how wonderful my information is, I should warn you.
There isn't any information here.
I realize, the more I say information, the odds of someone coming along to thank me for my information increase.
They're on crack though. Maybe meth. Sometimes glue. Maybe liquid paper fumes. Possibly a combination of everything plus mouthwash and hand sanitizer. So many cleaners; one hell of a mess.
There's absolutely no information here at all. Nothing. This is not informative.
I'm just a guy. A guy typing random words into a box. They call this blogging, so I blog.
It's Not About My Content
It's about me. Me! Me! Me!
Everyone wants to see what kind of stupid thing I do next. It's always been like that.
Unfortunately, you will not be seeing any stupidity here today! No stupidity! No information!
Nothing!
Just me fighting with this box.
And I'm going to win!
They say, "Winners win." I say, "Thank you, Captain Obvious."
I'm now to the point of this article where I feel like pressing that magic clear button. So close!
Unfortunately, and even though I've been making some solid attempts to "improve my quality," that won't be happening today. You see, I need filler. Something, anything. Words work well when it comes to filler. I am an expert on filling, but I'm no dentist.
Articles are Meticulously Handcrafted.
Unless you're me.
I just wanted you folks to look at that strange image up there. I made that. I could have placed that image here and said nothing. I chose to say something about nothing. That's how I roll.
The art took several hours to complete. The words here, well, basically, it's just me talking to myself. That part doesn't take long.
Did you know: My dad has a dog. His name is Jack. Jack likes to lean on you. Just like the song. Lean on me. When you're not strong. Blah blah blah. You know the one.
So anyway, if you want Jack to leave, one must say, "Jack, off!"
So, if you ever get a dog that likes to climb on your couch, don't name it Jack or you'll spend the rest of your life yelling:
Jack Off!
And your neighbors won't like you.
Anyway.
I hope you've enjoyed my wonderful information.
Thank you.
Enjoy the art.
Have a nice day.
Let me tell you a true story that sounds false.
About 10 years ago I was at a coffee bar that also served alcohol and had a variety of bands play on the weekends. I really used to love that place.
This bar had four different connections in the back that could be used to connect your laptop so that you could surf the Internet while you were drinking your alcohol or coffee or whatever you happened to be partaking from.
Everyone usually had to wait in line to use these connections. Therefore when someone was leaving they would usually announce "this connection is available." and then someone would grab it.
My girlfriend and I were about to leave, so she told me I should remove my connection from the wall jack so that somebody else could use it.
I loudly announced that I was going to do this because that was the procedure.
"Hey everyone!"
Room gets quiet as everyone looks my way.
"I'm jacking off right now. I'm jacking off." I announce.
One Clap. Two claps. Very slow applause builds to crescendo.
And that is how I jacked off in a coffee shop in front of about 50 - 100 applauding fans.
I'm so sorry I'm not a whale and my 10% comment vote only gives you 32 cents. You made me laugh here. Good job.
I'm glad you enjoyed it! ;)
Ha.
I literally just "ha'd" outloud.
ahahahahh. This made my day.
OMG! You should be ashamed. ;)
Now i clap too. Wonderful performance
now I know why you really have no names left to use, your dad used the last good one on his dog
Yeah. I didn't get a name. They just put a shirt on me and threw me in the shed.
daem you be like jezuz only you be artistic and they made you sleep on the lawn mower
It's actually quite comfortable.
then he will be call you zezuj and was raised on the warmph of humming gas engine , and through him many in Steem will have their eyes finally open, and be restored from the sin of bid-bot-ting
Your artistic genius is decadent delightful and delicious and knows no bounds, comparable to the very best like Pricasso ;P Send me a pic of Jack my sire. Pricasso wants to do a most magical masterpiece in his honor, Pricasso loves animals!
Yours Always
Pricasso
Here is a picture of Jack. He's smiling for the camera.
Have fun with it!
LOL WOW my sire how did you get him to do that? Stunning Pricasso shall put his donkey hair brush to work immediately.
Yours Always
Pricasso
I love those leaning dogs. They're just so, 'what the hell'. I guess I kinda like most dogs. I did find the information here about dogs to be, informative, but it was an accident. I shouldn't have mentioned it, but I do like those leaning dogs. They crack me up.
Thank you for this wonderful information about how you enjoyed this wonderful information. Jack is a good boy. He's chill. He just does, 'whatever'. Nobody complains. His sister is a real bitch.
How wonderful is your information!
I need some filling in my brain and some in my heart and some in my mouth.
There is an autistic bird that keeps repeating piu piu piu piu out of my window. I shall give him some seeds, isn't it?
Yes it is, I think. That's a lot of filling. You must have many voids. I don't really know what that means. It sounded funny in my head.
Ahh, I know where the information for this post is- the painted man is holding it in his hand, pushing it through a portal- take us to the other side!
The information is the information.
Hey man!!! Thanks for the information. I thought there won't be any information here except the coffee drinking part (which missed in action today), but I'm definitely not gonna name my dog Jack but will name in fog.
Fog Off!
Yeah. That's a good name for a dog.
Technically speaking, the image alone accounts for 3179286 bytes of data, which is another word for information.
Also technically speaking, this post will not make you rich and famous. I hope I'm proved wrong.
Luckily, it's not about being rich and famous. It's about entertaining me. Me me me. As long as you've done that, that's all that matters. To me.
Enjoyed the art today. Only so many times I can say that before I start to sound like one of those elephants. But it's true.
@lemony-cricket, thank you for being a fan of my work. Enjoy it while it lasts, my friend.
Well that was ominous. :/
I never know, in advance, if people will like my stuff. Isn't there some kind of unwritten rule out there in the universe that states my luck will eventually run out? :)
Un-huh, you're one of the people that serve as a warning for the rest of us. We should all be grateful. [Applause.] Nice colours today, and bloody red faces and missing things.
I often wonder how many see just a simple blur of colors and how many see what's actually there. I should do a poll someday.
Yes, but the simple act of measuring, changes what you're trying to measure <-- studies say this. So if you poll them and ask if they see anything, they're going to look, and well... more of them will see something, although it's a bit like an inkblot test where we all see something different.
Very informative article. Be my friend.
I get a lot of those comments when I like, post a three word explanation for my video. I can't tell if they are bots or just don't speak English. But, I can't say there's a whole lot of information in my emo covers.
Although there's quite a bit of information in your post:
Lots of interesting new quotes
Words I would have never thought to use about people who leave dumb comments!
Your posts are always an experience, and I look forward to when they come out! :)
I say there's nothing here, but that's just another one of my dumb jokes. You get it though. Some don't, and that's the fun part. Some believe everything they read, so if I say there's nothing here, everything disappears. It's magic.