My condolances and all the best to you.

It can still feel like a flaw in the fabric of the universe sometimes, this dying of friends.

I can't get used to it and I can't help wishing there were someone to blame, someone at whom I could direct my anger and desperation. There rarely is, so I find myself cursing everything, but there is no getting even, no point in anger, only the meek acceptance of grief and comfort of friends to offer consolation.