Why am I so spent if things are going well?
I am actually struggling to keep my heart open right now. I want to close in on myself and hide in my blankets. I have no desire to be around or interact with people, and that's usually the way it goes when I have the most to do. Except I don't have the most to do. I'm well again and this has been my least busy week in months. So what's up?
You ever get the feeling you are being swarmed by external energies? I'm not talking microwaves. I mean other people's emotions. It's been kinda like that around here. I have a kid going through puberty, another with blooming anxiety and a third who believes a shrill scream (aka sonic blast) will get her what she wants even though it never has. Have I mentioned that I am exceptionally smell, touch and sound sensitive? Well, puberty is smelly, anxious kiddo is clingy and littlest of littles has keyed in on my least favorite frequency. Joy.
Sarcasm aside, even my minis are doing well. The dog is responding to commands and giving less sass. But I'm not meeting my own goals. And the more often I don't meet my own goals (such as writing three times a day here), the less driven/more overwhelmed I feel.
Sigh.
A piece of this is depression. Another piece is anxiety. A third aspect is that my body is genuinely exhausted because I've doubled my physical output at the gym by doing accessory work after classes.
Wait a minute. What did I just say? Sometimes I need to listen to myself. I just doubled my physical output at the gym. Okay, folks. Sorry for wasting your time. I know why I'm dragging, and it's not because I'm not meeting goals. It's because I am. But also THANK YOU for listening because if you weren't here for me, I probably would have scratched my head into tomorrow.
Okay. Whew. I feel better. While I still want to close in on myself, at least I've identified that I am protecting my energy because I'm expending my energy. We all need to do that. It's a balancing act.
How are you pursuing balance?
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It definitely is finding balance.
I’m feeling the same way lately but I am overwhelmed and am trying hard to not shut down and disappear for a few days. I’ve been doing too much and need to keep doing just as much. 😉 I’ve finally told myself to focus on the most important thing and just make sure I get one thing a day done with it until it’s done. Otherwise I’ll shut down and do nothing.
And also be forgiving of what I don’t get done whether it’s a lack of time or just a lack of energy.
Life sometimes... and always, the best of luck to you with yours! You seem like a person who always seems to find a way to do what you need to do.
Thank you for this vote of confidence. I may actually allow myself the time away. It's just that writing here has become such a huge mental wellness assist!
I'm finding that I need to sometimes. I feel like I'm ready to start jumping back in but I'm learning I really need to pace myself. Even if I feel ok to write about something at the moment.
I've spent the last couple of months helping to write a bill to protect underage girls in polygamy from unwanted marriages. I planned to write about it throughout the process but just couldn't... It took an emotional toll. BUT, IT PASSED! Unanimously too! Through every stage. So exciting. For whatever reason, I feel like I can write about it now. :-)
If you do feel like time away would help but just can't take it, just cut the time spent by a little. You may not need as much as you think you might.
At first my stomach was increasing in shape and size (accumulation of facts)
when i was not exercising. So i started the stomach exercise because i wanted
to burn those fats which have accumulated in stomach to have a flat stomach.
This fitness challenge to me wasn't easy when i started. Sometimes i almost
give up on this fitness challenge but i have been consistent on this one for the
past days because of your encouragement and useful tips you have been
sharing with us. Finally the accumulated facts are all burnt out and now have
a flat stomach. I owe it all to you. @shawnamawna.