Something I struggled with my entire life.

I put myself out there more and more and talk directly about my social anxiety which was caused by shaking hands when I was nervous.

It went to a full downward spiral when I was at the classboard with 14 and my hands started shaking.

From then on everyone made jokes about me and I avoided the spotlight, especially where my hands can be seen like the plague and developed some severe social anxiety that I still have.

I just started telling everyone what it is and getting myself into these fucked up situations, it will reduce my shivering (I have had my brain checked and it is working 100% by the way) I hope, but that is not my real goal.

My goal is to not avoid these situations anymore and endure the sometimes panic attacks that I have.

I already had a success last thursday when I had to sign a paper on the street where I met my new renter because it was an urgent document, I was just getting comfortable at home and then he called me out of the sudden, you can only imagine the panic attack that I had.

The signing took me 2 seconds...

In 1-2 weeks I will hopefully sign the new renting contract, and I will have to meet my social anxiety again, but I will come out of it stronger.

Just thursday I felt a huge spike in my confidence for realising that I have overcome my fear.

It is the viking way, and not running away when fear shows up is courage, my most loved value.

I felt super strong afterwards and now I feel less afraid of showing myself more.