Theory 🤔: If absolutely EVERYTHING you did was designed to help other people, that would work out pretty okay for you.

In practice it's a balancing act. You matter too. You're one of the people.

And if other people are looking out for themselves more than for others, then you kind of need to too, or you'd be exploited. (You'd be passing the ball to people who don't pass it back.)

So getting to the point where you can give it 100% all of the time is a process. (Right now it's a localized thing that you can do with people you trust and love, but not with everyone you bump into.)

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But for a thought experiment suppose you erred bizarrely far towards helping others, like everyone else around you was the intended beneficiary of everything you did.

I believe this would work out just swell for you.

It's certainly better than the extreme in the other direction, where it's all for you with zero regard for the people around you and what their needs may be.

The first, whether or not perfect, would hardly be much of a mistake. (What, you spent all your money, but there are tons of people who know about the things you did for them, and you have the joy and the experiences? That's probably not gonna end too badly.)

It wouldn't be easy and it would defy human instincts, but if somehow you did it, I speculate it would work out dandy for you.

Whereas the second would be total hell.

You'd find yourself surrounded by only the people who can tolerate what you're doing, probably because they're doing it too, and it's not the kind of place to raise your kids.

The best you can hope for is to be on guard all the time and that you successfully protect your stuff.

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Paradoxically,

being overly sensitive to what other people want and need is just a really effective way to meet your own needs. You foster an environment where your needs are likely to be targeted and appreciated.

The paradox is funny, because then it kind of destroys the enigmatic quality of what "kindness" is. It becomes more like, oh, he's a good player.

Lol. That's all it is. It's just long-term oriented, high quality play.

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But imo that's totally fine. It just shifts it where being a good player is the thing that should carry the appreciation.

Like we know why Tom Brady is studying hard and eating his Wheaties, and still appreciate it.

It kind of just makes it better to me. That kindness isn't static or tossed into the abyss. There's an actual point and growth to it.

I feel like we're all kind of wizards coming together

and it's very interesting

But ya

It might be fun to try to be bizarrely good and helpful, and see what happens.

There's a balance to it. If there's 5 people and someone wants to eat 70% of the pizza, the kindest thing and what that person truly needs is to learn that they don't get to eat 70% of the pizza. So it's an art rather than just letting people walk over you.

I feel at my best when I'm holding up my shield and slicing up bullshit, and then I can save my barrel to pour where it belongs and does the most good.

It's like if you have all these cranks and levers, you don't want to exhaust yourself on the ones that are jammed shut. You put it where you get some movement, and then that gets other ones going and woo000ooo00oosh-ey woooooosh-ey w0oo00o0shey w00oo000oosh and now you're going.

::shrug::