You are viewing a single comment's thread from:

RE: Deceit and love - day 39 of the Steemit school 100 day poetry challenge

in #love6 years ago

This was a nice write may I make two tiny suggestions though

1- I feel that the flow of the whole piece gets snagged a bit by the second line of the second stanza.

his presence excited the whole being

While I understand that you wanted to flesh out the kind of excitement it felt to me that the piece would fair better if you left the description out-

his presence excited

also it might be good if you added a title to your writing notes or a spacer between them and the Poem <3

Sort:  

Thanks a lot. I will do as you suggested

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.28
TRX 0.13
JST 0.032
BTC 60695.64
ETH 2900.11
USDT 1.00
SBD 3.53