[Mother's day] My family was not together this year | Looking back on mother's day

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Mother's day used to be a day with a smile

Mothers day used to be a day that the children always had made something at school or kindergarten for the mothers. So lovely what these little creatures make when they can be artistic. If you have a lovely partner it usually means that you get to stay in bed a bit longer if you would like this, and sometimes a nice breakfast prepared for you by the partner and the little helping hands of the children.

Mother's day 2016 the last one in Holland

Two years ago mothers day had passed while I just started to see the two oldest children again (under supervision at the CPS office) and I was crying that day asking myself if my children were even allowed to think or speak about me by their father. It made me really sad, but I was looking forward to the next meeting, as this was months ago due to changing of our CPS guardian for the children. I was extra emotional because I had just given birth to our youngest daughter, and it did not take too much to tear up thinking about the two oldest children that should have been there with us too. My daughter had made something at school for me, and she told me during the visit that she forgot it at home. I felt really disappointed, not because she forgot, because she is a child, but because the grandmother and father did not even bother to make sure I would get this present she had made for me. This confirmed once again the cruelness of their personality. I would never keep these things away from them in the past, because these things are about the love of the children for the other family member. Unfortunately this was the last time I saw them since.. I never got the present..

Mother's day 2017 in Spain

Last year we lived in Spain while mothers day arrived, this was the first year that our youngest was a bit aware of the fact that this day was the day you spoil mommy with attention, the year before she was a newborn.. My boyfriend really did his best to make me smile that day. Together with our daughter he went to the bakery, bought my favorite bread and sweet donuts filled with chocolate, which they only sold on Sundays. He made me a cup of coffee which I always love in the mornings, and it made that day one with a tear but also a smile because of his effort. But it was a day filled with tears in between too, because of course I thought about the two oldest children a lot. I wondered if they did make me something at school, and if so what.. But I also wondered if they even were allowed to do so. The thoughts made me sad.. These days are always extra emotional for me.. And most of the times I feel down days before the day arrives, even so with the birthdays and holidays we normally would enjoy together.

Mother's day 2018 in Hungary

I must admit something, I was totally unaware of the fact that it was mother's day this weekend, until it was late in the evening. We had a fun day in the park with our little girl, and "luckily" this day was not overshadowed with tears. The day before mother's day I was really sad and cried a lot, I had to spit it all out, the emotions and tears.. But I was not aware why I felt that way that day.. even though I did not realize that mother's day was around the corner, my subconsciousness did not forget. Of course I felt sad when I realized this was the day I forgot this year. Not because I needed to be spoiled by my boyfriend helping our daughter, but because now I was wondering if they thought about me or not? And maybe their father already has a substitute mother for them, which they made breakfast and gifts for.. I tried to let it not bother me too long, as the negative feelings will overshadow the nice day we had in the park. But it's still something that I can't just think about without an intense feeling of sadness. Because those two sweethearts are supposed to be with us too.

Mother's day 2019

What will next year bring? In my head I dream that the family will be reunited and we can share those moments together. But I guess this will only be a dream for a while.. But who knows? Some things can a huge turn to the positive side out of the blue too, just like they have turned the opposite side in the past.. So I will never stop believing things can lighten up in a heartbeat!

How was your mother's day this year? Did you have a nice day with your children? If you want to share some feel good stories, please do in the comments ... Of course I know there are many other mothers that missed their children yesterday due to the interference of CPS and if you want to share your feelings, feel free to do this in the comments too. My heart goes out to all the mothers and children that have to miss each other every single day, because of the evilness of CPS that has taken their children. Big digital hug to every single one of you! You are not alone..