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RE: **{Dorky Contest #1}**

in #newbiegames6 years ago (edited)

This one involves my wrecking of the greatest time ever in a generation in my hometown. In Iowa, we have this contest called RAGBRAI (Registerland's Annual Greatest Bike Ride Across Iowa) that spans the width of our state, from Missouri River to Mississippi River, over the course of a week. Basically it's a giant drunk fest party in each town they stop in, and it happened one year in my early twenties to go right through my home town, but it actually wound up going directly through me.
During that day I was eagerly drinking alcohol at way too fast of a clip. I started at like 8am, and the furious pace of drinking had began. Later that night our town of like 5,000 people was going to become invaded by the upwards of 25-30,000 people. This tour is crazy because people don't stay in hotels, they camp wherever they can, so when I say that many people were in town, they were in town, literally packing the streets, you had to walk everywhere. So, me being a complete idiot, drinking like a fish, having already got in a fight someone earlier that day, somehow makes it to this concert that was highly raved because there was a headline band from the area which was a big deal to us, well me for sure.
The bands played in a massive parking lot, which served as their public arena so to speak, then they started playing some of their heavy music. Then a mosh pit developed right in front of where me and some friends were standing. Apparently this mosh pit was formed by grade school kids, trying to act tough. I being a bit of a bigger guy (6'2'' 290lbs) thought I would get involved apparently (I keep saying apparently because I remember very little of this as I drank enough that day already to float a battleship) with the kids. Apparently I start tossing these little kids around, turning the mosh pit into a midget toss all over the front rows of the band. All I really remember from this event is seeing the crowd part like Moses had hit his staff to the ground and parted the seas. Then I see our area's finest walking my way in riot gear. They were after me, no question. Apparently I didn't resist, or this could've really been a rough night. So this being the first and only time being cuffed by the law, I was detained for the duration of the concert and let go. My charge that day from my local police officers, "Inciting a riot." They didn't throw the book at me but slingshotted the Library of Congress at me, which of course the charges were dropped after my appearance in court.
So the concert was shut down apparently right after I was getting cuffed by the police, because why not arrest the entire mosh pit, right? Then the crowd got mad, the band called out the cops, and the concert was shut down. So what seemed like a great night and a great time for thousands in the downtown of my community, turned out to be wrecked by me being a drunken a-hole.

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omgosh @cryptkeeper17... You have taken it up a notch for @abh12345's game... lol ... Asher is he allowed to just jibber jabber like this??? hahaha...

I think you could inspire @danielsaori to come up with a "comment contest" on comments. I would happily enter this one! And you better hope the Queen @lynncoyle1 doesn't see this, you will be responsible for her bloody fingers as she types away trying to keep up!

You crack me up crypt! hahaha :)

You have earned my last newbienickel of the day!!! This one will be from @danielsaori!

Congratulations, this newbie nickel is sponsored by #steemitcommentchallenge this week!

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#newbieresteemday highly recommends this sponsor!

Such suckiness needs to be drawn out over time, you cannot rush literary genius and intoxicated stupidity @davemccoy. Don't worry dave, most of rambling and muttering goes on in discord so I think everyone is safe in Asher's contest, haha too funny. You can't pass out a newbie nickel to a grizzled vet on his 100th day @davemccoy what are you thinking? By the way happy 100th day anniversary later today or tomorrow whenever it hits!

Happy 100th today to you too old man! Its been a long road and fun road, but I think we are getting there! And just think how great the next 100 days will be ;)

I'm thinking exponential, not arithmetic :D

hahaha @davemccoy, there is no way I can compete with that!!

But that kind of story really does need some proper lead-up, which @cryptkeeper did exceptionally well haha

I know right.. its a good thing that @cryptkeeper17 is only on the computer part time or we would all be put to shame! he can spin a good story for sure!

ok, don't have me worrying about my crown so early in the week!!

Your crown is safe here @lynncoyle1 I wouldn't worry about that. I can't even crack the top 10 anymore with all your fellow newbieresteemers, newbiegamers, greetersguild people putting me to shame every week. I love it! Those are the people you need to worry about, lol.

It's hard being Queen...there's always someone nippin' at my heels haha

That was a great story though; I've had the video of it playing in my mind several times since I read it...makes me laugh out loud for real :)

I hope you continue to reign over us @lynncoyle1. One more day until the next announcement!

Yay! It’s a good sign if you have multiple stories of suckiness! Looking forward to hearing which one you share!

Oh hell, you are in Iowa. That is where most of my family lives. I spent a couple summers at my aunt and uncles in new hampton detassling corn .

You've gotta kidding me, right in my neck of the woods in NE Iowa. They are a member of our Northeast Iowa (Athletic) Conference when I was going to school. Yes I also detassled for many years as well. I actually missed detassling the following day after this story, lol. Small small world dday chassis, wow. Sorry @prettydorky I didn't mean to splatter your post with my comments. I actually was called out once for that. But that is a whole other story in suckiness on steemit.

Don’t mind me... I’m just sipping my cocktail, watching the show! Chat away! I have no rules for who says what where. Good luck on Asher’s curation league! I’m so far down the list! But hopefully working my way up with you chatty bishes! 😛

i use to double row so when i would go back home to arkansas after the summer i would try and explain what detassling was to a bunck of people who had never seen a corn field so i would say " ok, hold your hands up about shoulder height in front of you like a zombie. Now walk forward makinng a motion like you are jerking 2 dudes off. Boom, you are a professional detassler. lol

I detassled for an old man named Merle Mc Grain and his son Jerry. I will shit my pants if i know you. lol

hahaha this farm girl from Ontario totally knows about detasselling corn!! You guys are funny ;)

Merle McGrain? Shut up. Lol that’s a perfect Iowa corn farmers name!

I swear to god. That guy and his kid loved me because i worked like a dog. they put me in charge of a crew one year so basicly you are a slave driver walking behind the crew making them keep a certain pace. I worked 2 of them till they droped before they made me go back to being a worker. they gave me a $1 an hour raise on all my hours for the summer on my last check. They were cool as hell. His son Jerry was i guess a pretty big deal in college wrestling, he had my back in a fight i got in to out in the fields one day. I have much respect for those 2 men. I am sure the old man has passed away by now.

You are not a full blown detassler until you go to be at night, shut your eyes, and you still see rows of corn in front of you. No, I didn't make that far north dday, mainly in the Fayette/Buchanan County areas.

😬😆 oops! Funny story! Sooo we’ll call that a fail? Haha! Or let’s look on the bright side... you succeeded in shutting down the concert. Go you!! Lol thx for sharing! Funny stuff.

This deserves to be a post by itself :D

Not in a million years did I think I would be talking with someone about detassling in NE Iowa on steemit. Yeah, it's all about corn pollination.

Lmao, @cryptkeeper17
No way I can compete with that... I think.
You’ve set the standards pretty high on this contest - lol

Yes @simplymike it is hard to suck enough for 20,000 people at once, but luckily there was just enough alcohol in my county at the time do the trick, lol. It's the circle of life @simplymike, we are talking about drinking about alcohol, which here is made by fermenting corn, and we get to talk how that corn is pollinated by rocket scientists like myself all at the same time.

Lol, I can’t imagine you inciting a riot @cryptkeeper17. We better keep an eye on things when we have that newbie team meetup one day. No mosh pit or riots of any kind allowed!

I was actually a victim of profiling that day. They were arresting every ogre that day that drank their weight in beer by noon that day. Lol, no worries @beeyou, I don't drink anymore so my riot output has gone down drastically.

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