**{Dorky Contest #1}**
🔸Dare To Suck🔸
I’ve been overthinking this contest for a week! Why? Because it’s my first contest and I’m afraid to FAIL miserably!
And then💥it hit me... Dare to Suck! In life, we gotta dare to try new things and maybe fall flat on our faces crying because we sucked so bad. But then... whatdayado? You get back up and try again! Orrrr maybe you find out that your idea was ✨amazeballs✨ and you fly off into the sunset of success! I just made that up. 😆
The one criteria I had for my contest is that Jeff & I really want to get to know our followers! You are all strangers to us. So let’s have some fun!
CONTEST:
We want to to hear your DARE TO SUCK moment! What was it? Did you surprise yourself by succeeding? Did you fail? How bad and embarrassing was it? Did you learn from it? These are just questions to get your brain going. You share what you want.
PRIZES:
- First Prize: 3 SBD
- Second & Third Prize: One share each in #steembasicincome
All awards chosen by Jeff! If you don’t know Jeff, you might take a peruse through our posts. He’s a total goofball! Make him think, make him giggle, show him your true self! Entertain us!
Prizes given at post payout
shout out to @simplymike for donating Steem for one share in SBI
REQUIREMENTS:
- UPVOTE this post
- SHARE your story
- THAT’S IT!
Resteems are appreciated, as they allow more fun people to play with us & grow the winnings pool for bigger prizes!
Ok people... let’s hear your best failure or success stories! We can’t wait to read them!
Image by @penderis
gifs compliments of Giphy and @amariespeaks
This one involves my wrecking of the greatest time ever in a generation in my hometown. In Iowa, we have this contest called RAGBRAI (Registerland's Annual Greatest Bike Ride Across Iowa) that spans the width of our state, from Missouri River to Mississippi River, over the course of a week. Basically it's a giant drunk fest party in each town they stop in, and it happened one year in my early twenties to go right through my home town, but it actually wound up going directly through me.
During that day I was eagerly drinking alcohol at way too fast of a clip. I started at like 8am, and the furious pace of drinking had began. Later that night our town of like 5,000 people was going to become invaded by the upwards of 25-30,000 people. This tour is crazy because people don't stay in hotels, they camp wherever they can, so when I say that many people were in town, they were in town, literally packing the streets, you had to walk everywhere. So, me being a complete idiot, drinking like a fish, having already got in a fight someone earlier that day, somehow makes it to this concert that was highly raved because there was a headline band from the area which was a big deal to us, well me for sure.
The bands played in a massive parking lot, which served as their public arena so to speak, then they started playing some of their heavy music. Then a mosh pit developed right in front of where me and some friends were standing. Apparently this mosh pit was formed by grade school kids, trying to act tough. I being a bit of a bigger guy (6'2'' 290lbs) thought I would get involved apparently (I keep saying apparently because I remember very little of this as I drank enough that day already to float a battleship) with the kids. Apparently I start tossing these little kids around, turning the mosh pit into a midget toss all over the front rows of the band. All I really remember from this event is seeing the crowd part like Moses had hit his staff to the ground and parted the seas. Then I see our area's finest walking my way in riot gear. They were after me, no question. Apparently I didn't resist, or this could've really been a rough night. So this being the first and only time being cuffed by the law, I was detained for the duration of the concert and let go. My charge that day from my local police officers, "Inciting a riot." They didn't throw the book at me but slingshotted the Library of Congress at me, which of course the charges were dropped after my appearance in court.
So the concert was shut down apparently right after I was getting cuffed by the police, because why not arrest the entire mosh pit, right? Then the crowd got mad, the band called out the cops, and the concert was shut down. So what seemed like a great night and a great time for thousands in the downtown of my community, turned out to be wrecked by me being a drunken a-hole.
omgosh @cryptkeeper17... You have taken it up a notch for @abh12345's game... lol ... Asher is he allowed to just jibber jabber like this??? hahaha...
I think you could inspire @danielsaori to come up with a "comment contest" on comments. I would happily enter this one! And you better hope the Queen @lynncoyle1 doesn't see this, you will be responsible for her bloody fingers as she types away trying to keep up!
You crack me up crypt! hahaha :)
You have earned my last newbienickel of the day!!! This one will be from @danielsaori!
Such suckiness needs to be drawn out over time, you cannot rush literary genius and intoxicated stupidity @davemccoy. Don't worry dave, most of rambling and muttering goes on in discord so I think everyone is safe in Asher's contest, haha too funny. You can't pass out a newbie nickel to a grizzled vet on his 100th day @davemccoy what are you thinking? By the way happy 100th day anniversary later today or tomorrow whenever it hits!
Happy 100th today to you too old man! Its been a long road and fun road, but I think we are getting there! And just think how great the next 100 days will be ;)
I'm thinking exponential, not arithmetic :D
hahaha @davemccoy, there is no way I can compete with that!!
But that kind of story really does need some proper lead-up, which @cryptkeeper did exceptionally well haha
I know right.. its a good thing that @cryptkeeper17 is only on the computer part time or we would all be put to shame! he can spin a good story for sure!
ok, don't have me worrying about my crown so early in the week!!
Your crown is safe here @lynncoyle1 I wouldn't worry about that. I can't even crack the top 10 anymore with all your fellow newbieresteemers, newbiegamers, greetersguild people putting me to shame every week. I love it! Those are the people you need to worry about, lol.
It's hard being Queen...there's always someone nippin' at my heels haha
That was a great story though; I've had the video of it playing in my mind several times since I read it...makes me laugh out loud for real :)
I hope you continue to reign over us @lynncoyle1. One more day until the next announcement!
Yay! It’s a good sign if you have multiple stories of suckiness! Looking forward to hearing which one you share!
Oh hell, you are in Iowa. That is where most of my family lives. I spent a couple summers at my aunt and uncles in new hampton detassling corn .
You've gotta kidding me, right in my neck of the woods in NE Iowa. They are a member of our Northeast Iowa (Athletic) Conference when I was going to school. Yes I also detassled for many years as well. I actually missed detassling the following day after this story, lol. Small small world dday chassis, wow. Sorry @prettydorky I didn't mean to splatter your post with my comments. I actually was called out once for that. But that is a whole other story in suckiness on steemit.
Don’t mind me... I’m just sipping my cocktail, watching the show! Chat away! I have no rules for who says what where. Good luck on Asher’s curation league! I’m so far down the list! But hopefully working my way up with you chatty bishes! 😛
i use to double row so when i would go back home to arkansas after the summer i would try and explain what detassling was to a bunck of people who had never seen a corn field so i would say " ok, hold your hands up about shoulder height in front of you like a zombie. Now walk forward makinng a motion like you are jerking 2 dudes off. Boom, you are a professional detassler. lol
I detassled for an old man named Merle Mc Grain and his son Jerry. I will shit my pants if i know you. lol
hahaha this farm girl from Ontario totally knows about detasselling corn!! You guys are funny ;)
Merle McGrain? Shut up. Lol that’s a perfect Iowa corn farmers name!
I swear to god. That guy and his kid loved me because i worked like a dog. they put me in charge of a crew one year so basicly you are a slave driver walking behind the crew making them keep a certain pace. I worked 2 of them till they droped before they made me go back to being a worker. they gave me a $1 an hour raise on all my hours for the summer on my last check. They were cool as hell. His son Jerry was i guess a pretty big deal in college wrestling, he had my back in a fight i got in to out in the fields one day. I have much respect for those 2 men. I am sure the old man has passed away by now.
You are not a full blown detassler until you go to be at night, shut your eyes, and you still see rows of corn in front of you. No, I didn't make that far north dday, mainly in the Fayette/Buchanan County areas.
😬😆 oops! Funny story! Sooo we’ll call that a fail? Haha! Or let’s look on the bright side... you succeeded in shutting down the concert. Go you!! Lol thx for sharing! Funny stuff.
This deserves to be a post by itself :D
Not in a million years did I think I would be talking with someone about detassling in NE Iowa on steemit. Yeah, it's all about corn pollination.
Lmao, @cryptkeeper17
No way I can compete with that... I think.
You’ve set the standards pretty high on this contest - lol
Yes @simplymike it is hard to suck enough for 20,000 people at once, but luckily there was just enough alcohol in my county at the time do the trick, lol. It's the circle of life @simplymike, we are talking about drinking about alcohol, which here is made by fermenting corn, and we get to talk how that corn is pollinated by rocket scientists like myself all at the same time.
Lol, I can’t imagine you inciting a riot @cryptkeeper17. We better keep an eye on things when we have that newbie team meetup one day. No mosh pit or riots of any kind allowed!
I was actually a victim of profiling that day. They were arresting every ogre that day that drank their weight in beer by noon that day. Lol, no worries @beeyou, I don't drink anymore so my riot output has gone down drastically.
I tried to work in fast food when i was in high school to help my mom with the bills. I do not have a fast food mentallity. I worked at Mc Donalds and there were these 2 cute mormon twins that were very nice to me and since we all wore the headsets when people would come through the drive through and were douche bags to either of them i would make their meals without any hamburger pattys on the burgers. I eventually had to have a meeting with the manager about it and i had like 4 managers in there as they were prepared to fire me but they were trying to figure out what was going on so they didn't get sued in case i was mentally deffective. So they go through this whole shpeal like I am retarded about how you are supposed to put burgers on the burgers. I stare at them blankly as long as i can until i burst into laughter, they seemed shocked and confused. They ask what is so funny and i explain to them that of course i know that hambergers get patties, I just choose to not put the hamburger patties on peoples orders that are assholes to the twins because they are increadibly nice people and people that are bad deserve to be punished in some way. They just sat there mouth agape for a minute, they eventually laughed and told me to go back to work. I was however no longer allowed to have a headset after that.
I also worked at taco bell at the same time because it was the only way i could get over 40 hours a week. THAT JOB was a whole nother animal. My friend Robbie was a manager, we use to go up on the roof and "change the filters on the grease traps" that was code for someone going to Missouri and buying beer for us because we lived in a dry county. When they got back we would go up and hoist the cooler up the side of the building then lock the door that came up to the roof. We would sit up there for hours looking over the city and we were kings of the world. We had our own code that we could speak over the headsets to let the next person in the drive through line know if there was a hot chick coming up or a bitchy customer that we would intentionally fuck with, we also kinda used his managerial powers as our own dating pool. We were probably the only taco bell that could have easily passed for a hooters in different uniforms. We were so awful but not nearly as awful as i was as a fast food employee in general.
Ok. First off... I’m glad I now know how to spell “shpeal” Ha! Second... thx for the plain buns. My daughters cried for 20 minutes after we drove away starving with no protein in our burgers! We loved the Mormon twins! They were so sweet. Until one day, they asked if I wanted a pamphlet with my fries... punk 😂
Where do you work now @doomsdaychassis? Just asking so we can bring you beer! 🍻😀 thx for sharing your story! Crazy kids.
lol. I just got done reading your Loveitshoveit post and i kinda cringed when i got to the 110 % customer service part then i got a good laugh at how pissed you must be at me while you were reading my post. I am much better at my new job :)
😃 Laugh it up! Lol someday, you’ll be managing your past self... karma baby. I’m glad you shared! I’d much rather hear your true and real stories over some bullshit to appease me. I’m certain I had some less than stellar moments when I was younger. ;)
I am a mechanic now, have been for 20 years and have a fix it right the first time score of 100% most every month so I have matured a lot since then.
Ohh my bad! You’re sharing an old story! Thank goodness we grow up, mostly. Young at heart I stay!
oh yeah, i was 16 and my dad was in prison so i was doing everything i could to help my mom keep the house. I ended up lying about my age and getting a job overnight at the block plant in town making cinder blocks at night then i would go to school during the day. Looking back on my life I just kinda
I mean i have had a LOT of fun but i am kinda messed up.
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sweet. thanks. :)
Many years ago I got the great idea to try mountain biking. All my friends told me how easy and rewarding it is to shred a trail down a hill with trees flying by in the woods. So I got the gear and borrowed a bike and headed off to the forest to "Shred it". So starting off my friends kept on telling me "no matter what just keep peddling and dont stop". After about an hour of following the line of bikes in the forest I wanted to try to lead the group. "Just Keep Peddling" from my friends as I passed them in the line "Don't stop for anything" was yelled to me. Being the leader of the pack was fun...untill in the middle of the path was a rounded stone sticking up. I could of headed to the left or right to try to miss the rock but I just kept on peddling and peddling thinking that if I just move faster I could bike right over the rock. Peddling faster and faster I hit the rock and my front wheel stopped. I went over the rock and my handel bars,I never stopped peddling untill I hit the ground so hard it knocked the wind out of me. Now bleeding from a knee and elbow, my friends just drove by yelling to me that "we told you not to stop". So I limped back to the parking lot with a bike that had a wheel that was bent at 90 degree to the left ,looking for a first aid. Lets just say I never take my bike off of streets and sidewalks now. Thanks for reading.
Forgive me for lol-ing, @lordzugg. In my vivid imagination, I can see you flying over those handlebars...
Did I understand correctly that they just 'kept peddling' and left you behind?
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Oh no! Haha! I’m with you, my bike stays on pavement. At least you gave it a shot! Thx for sharing @lordzugg! Now I’m singing the tune from Finding Nemo, with your words “just keep peddling.”
Well, I can't hold a candle to @cryptkeeper17, but here's one that I can remember fairly recently.
Last spring our foreman retired and we got a new foreman from town that has been doing road maintenance since 1983. We had a pretty big slide that covered the highway and it dropped the road at the top of the cliff a few feet.
I was working at the top with the contractor in the excavator and the foreman was nowhere to be found but had told the gravel truck driver to dump a load of armour rock where we were working so the excavator could place them at the bottom of the culvert flume. I just took control and told him to dump them where I figured it would be easy for the hoe and safe for him to dump.
I was pretty proud of myself for not needing the foreman there and just taking control of the situation.
Until the foreman showed up and asked why the driver would dump the pile right there. I started to feel sick as he went on about what a dumb place to put them and whatever else he was saying. I was too busy trying to figure out how to word it so I just blurted out, "I told him to dump it there. We tried to call you, but you didn't answer so I thought that was the best place."
I didn't apologize and then he asked me what I was thinking. I told him my thought process and asked where he would have wanted it. He showed me, and explained why. I took it into consideration, all the while internally smacking my head for a very poor first impression with the new boss.
One good thing came out of it though, the trucker was impressed that I admitted fault and didn't hang him out to dry, and he said as much.
"When Taking Dump Goes Horribly Wrong"
Hahahaha, yeah. I guess there's a lot to be said for thirty-something years of experience. I have two. Luckily arrogance isn't part of my constitution.
😂
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Thanks for the nickel @simplymike. I am going to buy gum with it.
That is a good quality, owning up to your actions. Thx for sharing your story @profanereviews!
Well, after being on the other end when people throw the driver under the bus when something goes wrong, I must have grown a conscience. Stupid adulthood.
Now that's a respectable man. You fessed up to your part and didn't lie to screw over your co-worker/ the driver?! That's pretty awesome :)
Hey hey 💓💓🙆 this is my entry 😊
https://steemit.com/newbiegames/@ashley4u/dorky-contest-entry-one-titanic
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This is pretty funny! I love that you stayed on stage and tried to sing to the wrong music! 😂 poor thing. Must’ve been embarrassing. Good luck in your upcoming performance. Double check your music! Lol thx for sharing @ashley4u!
Here is my entry for my of a tale of woe
Scene Mid Afternoon A pasty network technician sits at a Computer with a concerned look on his face.....
So there I was, another administrator had implemented drive quotas on my NAS. This box was supposed to be just for bulk file warm storage and alternative backups before pushing them to tape on the weekends. But it got worked into front line storage with no backup with out my knowledge.
This fails horribly and in the process sets every directory to read only. Nothing I can do will give me write access to this shitbox of 12TB. So I get on the phone with the manufacturer that rimes with WetBeer.
Their tier 3 support guy gets on and fixes the NAS where the quotas are removed and suddenly I have full change access again.... Unfortunately in the process of getting it back the NAS started deleting all the file folders and data.
I was able to get some of the user data off to a 4tb USB drive while the NAS was chomping through the 6TB of backup data that I had. Unfortunately there I was with a blank box, Riding dirty with no daily backups for the past week and only about 75% of the user data that others stuck on that thing.
I set up my backups to run immediately
Restored the files as best as I could from that USB drive.
And let the CIO know what happened...
Moral of the story
Two is one, and one is none... I am now mirroring this NAS against another in one of our other facilities but I am still wary of keeping all my warm data on it again. And a RAID is not a backup medium.
So there ya have it this is my biggest Noob type mistake after almost 20 years in field. And it just so happened to be recently.
Wow! Unfortunately I’m so NOT tech savvy I have no idea what you just said! Sounds like a total cluster f*%k though! I have some wetbeer equipment that sucks, so I got that part! Lol! I love your details. Very funny! Thx for sharing @motinkergnome! Love your name too btw ;)
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Thanks Simplymike
@motinkergnome, will you please check to see if you’ve upvoted the contest post? I don’t see your vote, but it is possible I missed the notification. I’d hate for your wetbeer story to miss out! 😀
@pretty.dorky I did neglect the thumb up vote thank you for catching that and keeping me honest. If anyone knows of a good enterprise Network Attached Storage please let me know. I may have this GetNear one going to get whacked like the printer in "Officespace".
Detail police... it was a fax machine 😜
That is Ok though as I was playing Ghetto Boys all morning in honor of the fax machine. :)
I love that Movie! So funny!!
Lol you’ve got all kinds of funny rhymes for LetMere! I admit, mine sucks. I just sat here going through possible rhymes... that’s the best I came up with after at least a WHOLE 45 seconds of thinking. 😝
So I used to work at one of those "lube-job" places that change yer oil, spin tires around on fancy shmancy machines, yadda yadda yadda. All good times, mmm good times. And occasional shenanigans when the boss is out. It's now 6:58PM and the day is done! Almost time to close shop, just gotta wait for that last car to move out. Annnd... finally. Doors are closed, time to slide the service grates shut on the oil bay: reach up, fingers through the grid...grab ahold of the slide, tug... and OHCRAPCRAPPCRAPCRAP my ring finger is stuck! The grate slams shut-on my finger. The guys up above can see it stickin out of the floor like a dandelion after the rain. " Hey Von!.. got a problem there buddy?" (they are LOL'n their heads off...) This is the kind of grate that locks in place. So I'm pretty much "there" until someone rescues me. And yes, this hurts. A lot. Like, HR would can my bum if they could hear the words I want to let outta my mouth. "Gee, that looks bad man. It's kinda like... it looks like it's tryin take a nap. " And "hey Von, we are gunna hit the wash and lock up. See ya tomorrow?" The man door swings closed. Another co worker slides a bottle of oil across the floor to where my finger is pinched. "Looks like you forgot the lube there buddy."
So the jokes go on for a lil while longer, and eventually some kind hearted joker comes down and hits the release on the grate. FREEDOM! -oh god, just cut this thing OFF of me! *pain. painpainpain...wow, it's just kinda all floppy isn't it? All.. bendy..unnatural...kinda cool... but.. daaaaang it's killin me!
Since it happened at work, I have to forgo clocking out on time. Noooo, it's off to the doctor for... you guessed it: "gee, ya broke it." Ya think? I end up with a week of counter-duty and orders to keep the dumb thing clean. In a tire/lube shope? HAHA -riiight. At the end of the first week, the ring finger is bigger than my big toe. Nasty, painful cuss. The nail should have come off at the doctor's visit but the smarty said nope. It won't get infected ff we leave it. Riiight. So I'm pretty sick of this goober on my hand. I grab a set of locking pliers, a tire-flat bar, and walk right into the shop to the tire bay. I set my arm in the tire vise we use for fixing flats and lock myself down in it. The guys in the shop all stop in fear and stare at me. "WHAT are you doing!!? NO--Nooo NO! You wouldn't?"
Yup, I am! So, arm locked down in the vice, blue smelly finger expose: tire poker in one hand, and a locking pliers clipped to the nail. Tire vice handle swings down, nail comes off with the pliers, poker to stab at the same time..... aaaaaaahhhhhh relief!!! *co workers are all gagging and crying in terror. I unlock my arm, put the tools away, and hit the washroom for fresh bandages.
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Holy hell! I cringed just reading that! I’m glad they let you out. I was afraid you were gonna say they left you there! I bet it felt so good to relieve the pressure. Sounds terrible! Yucky. Thx for playing @tillysfamilyfarm! 😉
This is a terrific first up contest (good on you for taking that first step), and luckily it also gave me the idea for my entry.
Four months ago I decided to run my first contest:
https://steemit.com/bounty/@plushzilla/steemit-bounty-contest-1-wanted-alive-and-well-couples-on-steemit
And 10 hours into your first contest my efforts seem to... well, 'suck':
2 months later, and you think that I would be a bit better at it... well, in a way I suppose (more payout but less votes :p):
Lol @plushzilla! I had the advantage of using the NRD tag which helped A LOT! I’m certain mine would look like yours, or worse, without their support! I like your idea for your contest, unique. I don’t know ANY couples on steemit. Thanks for sharing your experience, and for the follow! 😃
Good thing I keep a list of couples I know on Steemit then :D And I'll have to keep the NRD tag in mind in the future :)
https://steemit.com/@fibrefox/grow-the-community-and-get-to-know-the-people-the-steemit-community-list-couples
Oh look at you with a list! 😃 Yes, do use the tag #newbieresteemday. You won’t receive an upvote (unless it’s a special post) they draw the line at rep 45. You’re too cool now. ;) But you will get resteemed so more people see you! Also, if it’s a contest, use #newbiegames! Not sure about any guidelines there. @simplymike could tell us!
I've got a list for siblings too! But still don't know what to do with that one yet :p This is one of those social media platforms where you have to connect the dots (because the bots won't do it for you :D). I have put a few contests under newbiegames and I have seen your name pop up a few times :)
Oh good! I’m not totally invisible. 😋 My kids want an acct, hubby too... family contest? But you have to wait for us! 😉
@plushzilla, it might be a good idea to use different tags for more visibility. Instead of 'steemians', use 'steemit', instead of 'bounty', maybe use 'challenge'. Those tags are more popular, your contest might get more views... Also, I agree with @pretty.dorky: #newbieresteemday and #newbiegames will bring in some visitors too
Initially I just wanted to make it easier to search for my own posts :D But now you can do that more easily with busy.org and other Steemit tools... but that was four months ago so hopefully I am a bit smarter with the tags :) I mean, newbieresteemday has only been two months old I think :p
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When I was 15, for a lot of different reasons I ended up living with my grandparents in a little town 2 hours from the city where my mom was living. Almost at the same time that I arrived there, my grandfather became very ill. He and grandma had to move to the city with my mom. Basically I exchanged my room in my mom's house for my grandparent's house for six months.
I've been always very good to be nice behaving in front of my family but not that much when they are not paying attention (hypocrite may be the word). My parents and my grandparents were very confident in my, they were sure that I could take care of the house by myself, it was maybe true but I was also a dickhead.
In the first week alone my objective was to open the locked cabinet that was in my granpa's room. I knew for sure that there was booze inside it and maybe I would find some more interesting stuff. After a day trying all the keys that I could find in the house, the doors to alcohol, a gun and gold and silver coins were finally open.
A weekend one of my cousin, that was the same age than me, came over to spend the weekend with me. I showed him the cabinet, we finished the bottles of alcohol and played a little bit with the gun. I din't show him the coins, that was just for me hahaha. We were going out of the house to smoke, every time we were putting out the cigarette using the fire extinguisher of the house (If you haven't done it, is actually fun).
Next Monday after school I was still feeling bad in my belly from drinking and smoking too much. I was not very good for cooking, my menu was based in sandwiches but that day I was not feeling like that. I had some cup noodles, the kind that just need to put water, 3 minutes in the microwave and are ready.
I left the noodles in the microwave and went to do my daily shores in the house, that was basically water the plants and feed the dog. When I was coming back into the house I sensed an odd smell, I approached the kitchen and saw a lot of black and thick smoke coming out of the door, the microwave was on fire!!!. I ran out for the extinguisher and damn it was empty because of using it to much with the cigarettes.
I ended up pouring a bucket of water in the microwave while it was still running which someone told me after that was not the brightest idea. After thinking what was just happened I realised that I forgot to put water in the noodle's cup and that was what caused the fire.
I was scared that my family will notice that I'd been playing with stuff around the house of my grandparents, that someone would ask: Why the extinguisher didn't work? Buuuuut, nobody gave a shit, everybody was more into making fun of me for not being able to cook a noodle soup. I became the person that burns the noodles...
Haha!! Gotta be known for something right? Hopefully your cooking skills have improved? 😛 thx for sharing @cnandofer!
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