Now it is day

in #personal5 years ago

I am heading down to Helsinki by train for the night as I have two solid days of internal training ahead. I only got about 4 hours sleep (my fault - I was writing) and could probably have done with a couple more. I don't sleep on trains, buses or planes so, that is off the cards.

20190408_070021.jpg

The picture is from yesterday's usual, Daddy and Daughter weekend coffee date and I find myself enjoying her company more and more. She is a funny and clever little thing who has a humour beyond her minimal years and experience. She is a 'bit of a talker' and makes me laugh often, and not accidentally doing kid stuff. She is funnier than most of my friends.

I find it a little strange when I talk to friend's with kids because it seems all they do is complain about theirs and what they get up to, while I actually like mine.

One of the problems I am facing is that when she asks a question, I try to answer it to the best of my ability and unfortunately, she has pretty much skipped over the "what?" phase and gone straight to the "why?" I try to explain in a way she will understand of course, which often means simplification.

A few months ago she asked along the lines of:

"Is it day or evening?"

  • It is day

"Why?"

  • Because the sun is up in the sky. Evening will come when the sun goes down.

"I will sleep at night."

Last night she asked.

"Daddy, is it evening?"

  • Yes

"I don't think so because the sun is up. I will sleep when it is dark."

Yeah Daddy you idiot, this is Finland and the days are going to get very, very long. So now I have been explaining how summer days are longer than winter days and even though the sun is up, it can still be evening.

The other thing is that she loves to watch the sun set and will often come and get us to watch it with her saying excitedly, "Look how wonderful the sunset is!"

Soon the sun will be setting at her bed time and in summer, it will be around 1130pm.

While the last 2.5 years have been among the hardest I have known in so many ways, I wouldn't trade them if it meant having the same experience as my friends who complain about their children. As unlucky as her health issues have been, I am personally very lucky to have a kid who is a pleasure to be around (most of the time) and I enjoy the company of no matter where we are or what we are doing.

In a few long weeks, my wife will finish her studies hopefully and that will mean that she can spend weekends with us also. This is great of course but I think at least sometimes, I will sneak a Daddy and Daughter coffee date for just the two of us. It already kind of feels like it is a tradition that could live on for a lifetime, which is pretty cool.

It is definitely going to get weird when she is older though as I already get the question from people who see us together, "Is she yours?"

Taraz
[ a Steem original ]
(posted from phone while doing 170km an hour)

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Smart and sharp. Kids can really be funny and it is hard not to smile. My son used to ask similar questions when the sunset was at 10 pm in England. He couldn't understand why he had to sleep when it was still sunny.

"But I want to play Lego"

Oh she is just brilliant little human! This really made me laugh. You now must be more careful with what you are telling her :D

She is great. I will send you something to make you smile.

The questions are only getting started my friend! However, the fosterinf of that relationship will make it more enjoyable in due time. There is nothing better than time with them; soon you have have the great experience of a father & daughter dance at school as I just went through my 3rd this weekend!

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Awww, was it embarrassing for her?

I can imagine my daughter being horrified dancing with me later. At the moment, she asks me too so I take the opportunity while I can.

I was only obligated for one slow dance which I am sure she was grateful for! The rest of the night she ignored me to dance with her friends! I don’t have a baby anymore:(

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There’s a “what” stage? 😳

One of the questions I couldn’t answer was when my eldest at 1 and a bit asked me “why is it milk” 🤣

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Supposedly there is. I think mine skipped it because my wife and I have talked so much to her that her vocabulary built. The why is more fun by far I imagine :)

What was your answer?

I only remember the question, and fielding it to JJ who said something along the lines of "That's a very philosophical question, matey," and I can't remember if it actually got answered mainly because we weren't sure if he had incorrectly phrased "what is milk" or was actually asking "why is it called milk" or if we should just take him literally and assume he was asking a philosophical question of "why is it milk" XD

ha :) Yeah those long days have busted the sleep time logic - can you sneak some blackout blinds up for a few months, maybe draw a moon on them? (Like she'll fall for that one!)

... I already get the question from people who see us together, "Is she yours?"

To which you reply?

'No', with a dead-eye stare :D

We have blockout blinds that are pretty good, a must have here imo.

I reply:

"She is now."

:D: D And a dead-eye stare.

Do you have one I can take too?

I thought it was the Blues Brothers but I don't remember that scene at all?!

I enjoyed our kids growing ,learning experances. How they grasped different things. How their personality developed..
all amazing. Even today we have a close relationship that developed when they were kids

Do you have childhood traditions you still keep?

Oooh yea.
Holidays are all the same. Things Like Xmas stocking. Stuffed with some of the same things as when they were kids. (Slinky and such)
We still do movie nights , inner at the table on sundays. We try and take t weekend days and do something.
The last 6 months have hurt in some aspects and it has also kept us teoghter in others.
They have slowed down a lot as they work and went to college. But all the tradition are not lost. The conversations are also better.
There adults, but nothing has really change. It a long teaching and learning process that never really stops
Having a cup of coffee with your daughter will change somewhat but will never stop.
There is no down side.

I am sure it has taken its toll but at the same time, your relationships have probably developed in new and perhaps unexpected ways. I am positive the conversations are better :)

Yes they do but I still see all the little expression from their childhood. Very slight but still there.
As they grow your expanding your input and they change as they developed . I have been the constant .

The more you set them free the more they come back.

She is inquisitive and is absorbing much. Enjoy the ride as she grows and becomes our tomorrow. @tarazkp

You must really have a smart and sharp daughter

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