Hey, I totally get it. My husband and I are always honest with each other, thought most of the time we choose our words carefully and speak sensitively, knowing each other's sensitivities well. But we always strive to tell each other the truth, even if it comes out awkwardly or in a way that can hurt the other's feelings. We just are honest.

I've been trying to be as authentic and honest in all my interactions as well, while respecting someone else's sensitive triggers, so being mindful to choose my words at certain moments. I was in a situation recently where I thought someone I knew in a more acquaintance manner would be genuine with me and they turned me down for a collab. The reasons I suspect are the real reasons are reasons I totally get. I understand, but the reasons he gave me seem off and inconcsistent with the reality and evidence, that show his words are false. While I still think this person is kind and perhaps did not want me to feel bad, it bothers me that he just could not be honest with me off the bat. I would have understood. The fact that he lied just...I don't know, it's not what I expected from this person and I'm disappointed that this person did not feel they could be honest with me. I have to remind myself that it has nothing to do with me or anything I did or said but has to do with him. My husband told me that friends are honest with us, acquaintances aren't always and that typically when acquaintances are honest and open up, they become friends, and when they don't, they never get too close to us or become true friends. I guess that's the difference. I have to stop expecting everyone else to be honest just because I'm honest. There are people close to me who are super honest and I cherish that.

I just stopped trying to hide how I feel in person with others and try to be as real as possible, but I'll probably end up somehow lying to that person, and pretending everything is cool. But I'm going to remember the lie, and building trust is going to be more difficult with those who lie.