What’s missing is called tact. This is in part the ability to answer someone in a truthful manner yet still being sensitive to their feelings. Tact is a skill most people have not developed and or are to selfish to understand. You can always be honest but that doesn’t always mean you should speak. Part of being tacticful is saying nothing at all ata times. Let’s get into some examples.

Suppose a relative stranger asks what I think of the food we’re gett at an eatery while we’re in que to order. Suppose my response is ‘fucking shit but there’s nothing else open’, not very tactful and probably will offend if they are a patron of said establishment. But what if that’s how I really felt? Well, I could say ‘being as everything is closed I’m trying to find something I may like.’ This response says the same thing but it engages the other person, opens a dialogue for them to offer opion. This would be a tactful response. How about another example, relative to the article about lying to the boss.

You wake up late, no way to make it to work on time. You get to work and your boss confronts you.
‘Why are you late?’
You could lie, which serves no purpose because almost all bosses have heard every line of BS, so you just go the honest route.
“Yeah I’m sorry, over slept, totally my fault.”
The somewhat irate boss responds, “well now we’re behind and I’m going to have to spend my morning making up for you, are going to have a problem here?”
Now emotions are getting up this is a place where tact is usually tossed aside. Let’s look at response options-
“Well maybe if I didn’t have to pick up your slack I wouldn’t be so tired.” - maybe what your feeling but with no tact this will only escalate the conflict.
“No no problem just want to get Day over with.” -this indifference to the boos will likely only irritate them further.
“Yeah I’m sorry, it’s just I’m not sleeping well. I know I am behind now but if you could just help me get caught up I will try very hard to be on time now.”
This essentially says how you feel but again it’s in a soft manner that opens the conversation up by inviting the other in. This is be important when dealing within organizational structures- ie bosses or subordinates.

Tact is about saying how you feel and acting true to yourself while still maintaining an awareness to the feelings of others. Is a priceless skill that can be learned. Always be honest but do so in a way that helps build relationships. In a world full of lies and fakery, were it seems every thing is a used car dealership selling you that special package that only lasts until it’s off the lot, have integrity, be honest and tactful.

Or just be the person that says it bluntly, sometimes this is advisable and a good portion of the business world will value one honest opinion over the droves of ass kissers. Just say it sometimes. “What you think of our companies new direction?”
“I love this place, but the direction we’re going is a giant and I do mean giant steeming in the cold winter, ripe fresh and chunky pile of shit.”
Jaws will drop sometimes, but sometimes the only way to shut people up and stop talking, so they can think, is to shock them with brutal honesty. It works, but use it carefully.

Great article!

Thanks
-M