Your poetic-reflective text, which was written in the style of surrealist "automatic writing" (there was a practice of this type of writing known as "exquisite corpse", which we used a lot in literary workshops), presents the difficulty of a somewhat allogical interpretation. I believe that life is a combination of chance and necessity, or, to put it another way, luck and destiny. But the constant and lucid task can introduce changes in this course of possibilities and obligations. Life can be the game of "controlled chance". And not to take the revolver and desist from playing "Russian roulette". Anyway, in life you can always win or lose.Thank you for your text, @zentalk.